


You are Going to Have a Great Time

by Feupus



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: A little bit of chaos, Chris being cupid, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Guys Being Guys, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack, a great deal of love, buddie, discovering love for each other, drunk eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:53:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feupus/pseuds/Feupus
Summary: After a night of great fun, video games and a lot of beer, something happens and makes Buck and Eddie confused by how they feel about each other.
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 112





	1. You are Going To Have a Great Time

“Hey Eddie… Eddie… Diaz!” Hen had to scream to get the boy out of the trance or whatever was happening to him while looking at a letter distractedly that’s in his hand.

“Huh? What did you say? ”He closed the letter and turned his attention to her.

"I've been calling you for a while and you seem to be out of orbit, are you okay? .” Hen's gaze was one of concern. She had known Diaz long enough to know something was going on. He was always the kind of hiding emotions, but nothing went unnoticed by Henrietta Wilson.

"Yes, it's all right. I'm just a little worried about Christopher. " As much as Eddie accepted the idea of his son staying two weeks in a camp, it was still a little scary, not because Christopher had cerebral palsy. He knew that his son was smart and could manage on his own while he was away from him, but they had lost Shannon recently and he was feeling very alone.

"Yes buddy, I'm also really missing him, but I'm sure he's fine and will be back in a few days." Buck said sitting next to the boy. "And what is written on that letter? Is it a little letter from some secret admirer?"

The boy took the piece of paper from Eddie's hand before he even had any reaction.

Buck opened the letter and read aloud: "You are going to have a Great Time. Love, Christopher."

"He gave it to me before he got on the bus" Eddie took the letter back from Buck's hand and put it in his left pocket in the back of his pants.

"yes, it looks like he wants you to have some time just for you to relax a little bit. He's an amazing kid." Chimney lifted up his cup of coffee and waved to Eddie by blinking.

Christopher has always had a huge admiration for his father and he sees him as his hero. He always loved his mother unconditionally too, but Eddie ended up becoming the structure of everything in his life and that was something really beautiful to see.

"I think he's absolutely right, you need to relax a little Diaz, you've been very agitated and I don't want to have to suspend you for almost killing a person in a wrestling match again." Bobby said while preparing a delicious lunch, which, by the way, smelled great.

"Got it cap." Eddie made a gesture of reverence and gave a half-dull smile.

"Okay so... you and me, beer and a lot of beating in the video game tomorrow night at my home, what do you say?" Buck suggested with a little excitement.

"I don't know, man, I don't think I'm in the mood." Eddie bowed his head and stared at the ground.

He was really going through a lot of problems internally, his wife died, his parents wanting to take Christopher away from him and the lack of not being able to vent all this, it was something that was consuming him every day and anyone could see the tiredness that was the sample on his face. He had Buck who was his best friend, but for him it wasn't fair to spend the boy's time with his personal problems, Buck already had his own ghosts.

"Oh come on Eddie, it's going to be fun, Chris would like to see you having a little fun and besides I'm a great opponent in Street Fighter, you know that." Buck winked at him and staged a fight blow.

"No, you are not. " Everyone said it almost at the same time.

"Oh, come on! " Buck snorted.

"Okay I will." Eddie said at last.

_*******_

Buck was finishing taking a shower when he heard the bell ring, and ring several times in a row and then he curled up in the towel and ran down the stairs causing it to almost slip.

"I'm going, easy! " He screamed.

When he opened the door it was Eddie waving a crate of beer in his hand. "Did I come at a bad time?" He looked at the towel that wrapped Buck, who by the way was still a little wet and his hair all messed up.

" Oh...no, it's just that I was taking a shower, but put the beers in the fridge and I'm going to put on a quick suit" Buck doesn't know why, but it got a little red watching Eddie staring at him in a towel.

"All right, but just don't take long or I'm going to drink it all by myself." The other one had a malicious smile on his face cuz Buck was completely red and it was a good thing to admire.

Almost fifteen minutes later, Buck came back and this time with clothes and not only towel, he smelled very good and Eddie could not help but it was a very good smell.

"I bought some chicken wings at KFC that I know you like, and particularly I also like it a lot and by the way... protein, right?" Buck took the bucket of wings and went to join Eddie who was sitting on the couch opening the beer bottles.

"If I didn't know you so well, I'd say that you're trying to fatten me up with all that little wings," Eddie joked.

"And who says I'm not? Buck winked at the boy while ate a piece of the chicken wing that was in his hand and then gave the beer a few sips.

Eddie just smiled and picked up the controls of the video game. "Are you prepared for defeat?

"I was born ready... No, wait, who says I'm going to lose?."

In the midst of small discussions about who was the best player (that obviously it was Eddie), a few bottles of beers and chicken wings, they made their night wonderful. Peace, tranquility and good company, was all they both needed at the time after having gone through so many problems not only at work, but also in personal life, that's what they needed. And maybe it was risky to say, but that's what Christopher was talking about when he said his dad would have fun, he knew Eddie would be in good hands with Buck.

"Thank you." Eddie said by taking a slight elbow to Buck's rib while they were playing.

"But you just lost... by the way I should record that moment." Buck joked.

"No idiot, thank you for that, for that moment. I really needed this."

Buck gave a sincere smile. "I needed it too, I feel good when I'm with you. " And then he gave Eddie a tight hug, of those you almost run out of air.

The hug lasted longer than necessary, it was as if they were comforting each other for everything they had to go through in recent times. After a few seconds they got loose and were staring intensely, the place around it seems like it had stopped, nothing else was heard from the outside, not a car noise, people talking or something, it was just them two there sharing that moment in silence as if only it mattered at the time. Buck took a deep breath and for some reason or the fact that he drank five bottles of beer or by sheer will, he could not resist and pulled Eddie to himself stealing a kiss, a kiss that at first was voracious and with desire, and then gradually slowed down and became more intense. Buck suddenly stopped and stared at Eddie, but before he started saying something Eddie pulled him out and picked up where they left off. Buck's lips were soft and were quite wet, causing him not to want to stop and just continue it the rest of the night, but after a few minutes Eddie walked away a bit.

" Wow.... right... that was very wrong." Eddie said as he catch his breath after the kiss.

"I'm sorry, Eddie." Buck whispered as their faces were still near each other.

Diaz straightened himself on the couch and pull himself together, he couldn't admit to Buck that it had been too good. They were probably drunk, and besides, they were best friends, it wasn't right for him to kiss his best friend, actually kiss a guy. He'd never kissed a guy before and that was something very different for him.

"All right, I guess I just need a shower and a bed... I've got to go."

Eddie started to get up but Buck held him by the wrist. "There's no way I'm letting you go like this, you're going to sleep here tonight."

He pulled the other one back to the couch and Eddie didn't dispute it.

" Okay. I'm not going to complain cuz I'm too tired and it's very likely that I'll end up sleeping in the middle of the road." Eddie couldn't face Buck, he was a little embarrassed by the situation.

"Look Eddie, I'm sorry about it, I don't know what happened. I just felt like it and did it, but I want you to know that this is never going to happen again." Buck gestured as he spoke.

"Look man, I've never done this before and I honestly don't know how to react...do you have feelings for me?" Eddie frowned.

"I don't know, I love Christopher and I love you, but I can't explain it. I just know that I feel good when I'm with you guys, it's like I'm at home, you know, like I have a family, it's a good thing and that's good for me."

Buck's eyes filled with tears as he spoke, he was always a little emotional, especially when it came to people he liked.

Eddie saw the sincerity in his teammate's look and stroked his face drying a few drops of tears that flowed.

"I feel the same Buck, you ended up becoming one of the most important people in my and Christopher's life and I'm so grateful for that."

Buck didn't hold back and cried even more and then Eddie pulled him into a hug comforting him and stroking his head.

"I think we need to get some sleep." Buck suggested in an almost muffled voice as his head rested on the other's shoulder.

"Yes, I agree.”

Evan made the bed for them while Diaz took a hot shower.

"Look, your clothes fit me." Eddie joked as he left the bathroom wearing Buck's clothes.

Buck admired him for a while. It was the first time Eddie slept in his house, in his bed. They already felt at home when they were at each other's house, but now it was different, they had just had a thing and for Buck that was very special.

"Come to bed and shut up." Evan patted the bed indicating where Eddie would sleep.

"Yes, sir." Diaz threw himself on the other side of the bed. "Good night, Buck."

"Good night, Eddie.

Buck turned off the light and a few minutes later both of them fell asleep.

_*******_

"So...boys, did you have a great time yesterday?" Hen asked as she sat at the table with the coffee bottle in her hand.

Eddie and Buck look at each other for a few seconds and then Buck was the one who replied. "Well...it was good, we had a few drinks and I finally won Eddie in the game."

Diaz shrugged and let out a side smile. It could feel in the air that something had happened, they didn't know how to disguise very well. Hen, Bobby and Chimney looked at each other and pretended they didn't know what was going on.

"How's Maddie, Chim?" Bobby asked trying to change the tension in the air a little.

"She's fine. She's at the beginning of pregnancy, so she feels some nausea, but other than that she's fine." He shook his head.

After a few hours, Buck took advantage that everyone was away and Eddie was alone on the couch reading random things, so he go to talk with the boy about last night.

"Hey...what's up?" He sat in the next chair.

"Well, did you know that they discovered a virus recently in China?" Eddie asked frowning.

"Eddie... I want to know how we are, what do you have to say about last night" Buck leaned forward so that he had all his attention on the boy in front of him.

"Look, we're drunk and it happening, don't hurt yourself for it dude."

Actually, Eddie knew that it was a very badly told lie, he had liked it, even if it was just a kiss, but kissing Buck was something he wanted again.

"You know that it is not t..." Before Buck could finish the sentence, the siren sounded and Bobby shouted their names.

Buck faced Eddie for some secunds, meaning that they hadn't finished that conversation yet, and then they both ran toward the other team members, ready for another day's work.


	2. It was not just a Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying the fanfic and if you are enjoying it, please comment!!! Oh, if you have any constructive criticism, go ahead. 
> 
> xoxo <3

"Daddy!" Eddie heard Christopher screams his name as he came towards him with that smile that turns any sad day into joy.

Eddie was so happy to see his son, Christopher had been away for two weeks at a camp organized by the school and every day away from the boy was a pain for him.

The last few days had been a little tense, ever since he and Buck had kissed, things were weird between them. Eddie whenever possible tried to get away from Buck, as he was still confused by his feelings for the guy and didn't want to ruin the friendship that they had. Evan ended up becoming one of the most important people in his life, and he didn't want to lose him.

"Hey buddy" Eddie gave his son such a loving hug. "Imissed you so much."

"Me too, I missed you a lot." Chris hugged his father and patted him on the back.

"How about we go eat some... chocolate ice cream?" Eddie asked enthusiasticly.

"Yup!" Christopher shouted with happiness.

He loved being able to spend time with his father, these last two weeks had been wonderful for him, he had a lot of fun with his classmates, but nothing was more special than spending time with his father besides Buck who was super cool.

"Daddy, can we go visit Buck? I miss him."

"He's busy today, but I promise we'll visit him this weekend, okay?" Eddie tried to cover it up.

He wasn't lying to his son, in fact Buck was busy taking Maddie to the hospital for an appointment, cuz Chimney was doing an extra shift, but he couldn't leave his son without seeing Buck just because of a situation between them, after all Chris loved him and it would be unfair with his son.

"Okay." Christopher answered a little sad.

_******* _

The things at the hospital had gone very well, the doctor had told Maddie that she was nine weeks pregnant and that soon they could find out the sex of the baby. Buck seemed like those happy kids when he gets a new toy, for him the idea of being uncle was something amazing, since that he loved kids and he loved Christopher unconditionally, and having another kid in his life was a very good thing. He could already imagine him, Christopher and his nephew or niece putting ornaments on the Christmas tree, him taking the kids to play in the park, that was something he really wanted.

"I noticed that you were a little quiet today, you're usually too talkative." Maddie stared at her brother as they left the hospital and headed toward Buck's car. 

"Did something happen?"

"No, why do you think that?" Buck tried to cover it up.

"Come on Buck, you're my little brother and I know you very well. Tell me, what happened?"

Maddie put her arm around her brother and gave him a slight shake.

"It's nothing, Maddie." Buck tried at any cost to look away from his sister.

He knew that she wouldn't stop until he told her the truth, and he also knew she would know if he was lying. Maddie always knew him very well, even when they were young and Buck did something wrong and tried to hide from everyone, she found it out somehow, nothing went unnoticed for Maddie, and Buck was too afraid of it at times.

When they got into the car, Maddie put on her seat belt and then stared at her brother waiting for him to tell her what was going on.

"Okay I'll tell you." Buck threw his arms up in a sign of giving up.

"I just want to know what's letting you down, I promised that no matter what happens we'll always be together and I'll take care of you, remember?" Maddie stroked her brother's face.

"So... the last time that Eddie came to my house, we drank a lot, we played videgame and we kissed." He sighed deeply relieved of being able to tell someone that.

It was a little scary to talk out loud, it might seem silly to the other people, but he'd never had that experience, not as intensely as it was with Eddie, and as much as it was just a kiss, it messed with him a lot..

"wow...that's...good, or not?" Maddie blinked fast and made a face of happiness.

"Yes, but the problem is that I liked it so much, but I can't say the same about Eddie... and he's been avoiding me ever since." 

He shrugged. "Wait... you don't seem surprised."

"Buck, I always knew you had crush on Eddie and the chemistry between you two... anyone can see." Maddie smiled as she spoke.

But it was a smile of happiness for her brother, all she ever wanted was for Buck to find someone special and make him feel special and loved. Someone who didn't break his heart or abandon him like Abby did or like many others did, she just wanted to see her little brother happy and besides that, Eddie seemed like the perfect person for Buck, she could see the glow in her brother's eyes when he was around the guy, she always hoped that they would finally be together and was hoping it would work out.

"But I don't know if he thinks the same, Eddie is ignoring me and it's killing me, you know that I'm horrible when it comes to feelings and you also know that I'm a few unlucky." He had a sad laugh.

"Maybe he's confused, give him some time to think and when he's ready he'll come looking for you."

"And how do you know he's going to come looking for me?" Buck made a face.

"I always know, little brother."

Looking like Maddie predicted what would happen, a notification arrived on Buck's cell phone and it was Eddie. He opened the message and it was written: "Hi, I'm sorry that i'm being an asshole these days with you, can I come to your house on Saturday to talk? And by the way, Chris really wants to see you, he's already back from camp asking for you and said he's missing you."

_******* _

"May and Harry, are you ready? your father is almost here." Athena screamed from the kitchen.

"Yes, Mom." Both May and Harry responded at the same time.

Since Athena was away from the service, she began to devote her time to taking care of the

house and the children, and this included Bobby. And it was great cuz she was always tried to occupy her mind with something different, even if sometimes the heavy memories of that night came back to haunt her.

"Honey, is everything okay?" Bobby called her as he entered the kitchen and took her out of his thoughts.

"Oh... yes baby, I was just thinking." She smiled at him and then kissed him as he approached.

"The smell of food is going in the room, what are you doing, want some help?" 

Bobby was already putting his hand on the spoon, but Athena slapped his hand.

"No, I don't want help...actually I do. Help me by setting the table, please."

"Yes, ma'am. You're in charge." Bobby smiled.

He felt so lucky to have Athena in his life. She and the kids were the reason he wanted to live, the reason he wanted to be sober and want to come home every day and he couldn't thank for all that, Athena was really the woman of his life.

"And tell me, how are things in 118?" She asked while she was tasting the sauce she was making.

"The usual, some fires, some accidents and people doing bad things, nothing new." Bobby shrugged. "The only thing that's bothering me is Eddie and Buck."

"Why, what happened?" Athena frowned.

"I don't really know, but they're always playing or always together and from a few days on they're a little distant. I even asked if something was going on between them and they said that no, but you can see that they’re lying " 

"These two are a box of surprises, I just hope it's okay between them. They have such a beautiful friendship and they've been through so many heavy things in the last few years, so I hope that they talk and understand each other." Athena raised her eyebrow and took a sip of the wine that was in the glass next to her.

"I also hope, as their captain I need to maintain the harmony of the team and as a friend, I want them to get along with whatever happened."

While Bobby set the table the bell rang.

"Mommy, Daddy's here." Harry shouted from the room.

"Go open the door and come to lunch." Athena screamed back.

The Grant-Hash family was all gathered for lunch that turned out to be a tradition, every week they took a day to get together and have lunch together and it was something that Athena cherished a lot, she was always very strict about traditions, maybe she pulled it from her mother, but seeing everyone gathered there was something that made her heart fill with happiness. Gratitude was the word she could say for getting a second chance at life, for surviving the attack on that disgusting rapist and while she was recovering from her injuries and was still afraid to go back to work, being able to have that moment there with her family was something gratifying for her.

_******* _

Before the bell rang for the second time, Buck opened the door and came across Christopher and Eddie just behind.

"Buck!" Christopher shouted excitedly at seeing the guy.

"Hey buddy I missed you so much." Buck gave the boy a very tight hug, he really loved Chris a lot.

Buck then saw Eddie and reached out to shake his, but Eddie gave him a hug.

"How are you?" Eddie asked.

"I'm fine, I guess..." He shrugged.

In fact he was worried about what the subject of the conversation that Eddie wanted to have with him, but whatever it was, he just didn't want to lose the boy's friendship cuz it was something he was very attached to and he was not ready to stay away from either Eddie or Christopher

"Chris, why don't you go play some video games while Buck and I talk?" Eddie asked and Chris was excited to play a random game that was already paused on tv.

"Do you want to have a drink?" Buck asked while opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of beer.

"No, thanks. I just want to talk." Eddie sat in the chair and waited for Buck.

"All right, then let's talk."

The mood was very tense and Buck could feel the nervousness that Eddie was feeling, his gaze was very serious and penetrating.

"Look, first I'd like to apologize for acting like an asshole these past few days..." Eddie stared at the ground. "But I needed some time to think about what happened, and I didn't know how to act near you."

"All right, dude, I get you. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't upset because I was, but I understand." Buck gestured as he spoke.

"I know you were, I saw how much you wanted to talk to me and I walked away, it hurt me, but it was necessary for me, you know." Eddie seemed a little nervous as he spoke.

They were both horrible at show feelings or talking about them, that was a fact and they were very similar in that.

"All right, if you just came to apologize, you don't have to worry, it's ok."

"I didn't come just for that, Buck..." Eddie looked up and fixed it on the boy in front of him.

"I came here to say that after that kiss my feelings for you got mixed up inside me..."

Buck frowned and threw his head aside like a dog when he was confused. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that it was not just a kiss, it was something beyond that for me, but I'm not able to deal with that feeling and I don't want to ruin the friendship we have." The tone in Eddie's voice was one of sadness.

Buck was the only person after Shannon who managed to mess with him that way, it was something that he thought was impossible and now he wasn't sure how to handle it.

“I'm in the same situation Eddie, I don't want us to lose our friendship. When that lawsuit against 118 happened, I really thought I had lost our friendship and I was devastated, so I don't want that to happen again. ” Buck gestured as he spoke as usual.

He didn't really know where this conversation would end, but one thing he was sure of, if Eddie didn't want anything with him other than friendship, he would have to deal with the fact that he was falling in love with his best friend.

"Buck, I don't know how we're going to deal with this situation, we're best friends ..." Eddie took the beer bottle from Buck's hand and took a sip.

"Hey kids, I'm tired of playing alone." Chris shouted from the room.

"We are already going." Buck shouted back.

"And what do you propose that we do?" He asked.

"We are going to keep our friendship… and go to save that boy who can't stand waiting for us to play anymore" Eddie stood up and held out his hand to help Buck up from his chair.

"Yep, sure." Evan gave a sad smile.

It was clear that he was saddened by Eddie's response, but at the same time he was happy that he had the boy's friendship and could share moments like this with Christopher. As much as he was falling in love with Eddie, it was already worth it to have the boy's friendship, maybe it was even better than they try something and end up ruining everything, so he would have to get used to the idea.


	3. Alone in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone for reading the fanfic, you guys made me so happy... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!  
> I hope you are enjoying the story, if so please post a comment, I will love <3 xoxo see u in the next chapter!!!

It was the beginning of summer and in Los Angeles the heat began to arrive unannounced, Buck was sitting in the same place where he had the last conversation with Abby, where he had given a concrete end to that cycle of his life. From there, he could see so much of that city, it was a beautiful view like those of romantic movies where the main couple is kissing and there is a splendid landscape in the background, but at that moment it was just Buck and his thoughts. He decided to go there to reflect on his life, about how completely frustrated he was with everything around him, he was tired mentally and physically with everything. Buck moved to L.A. to run away from his family who didn't care about him and always judged him for his actions. "Don't you have any life expectancy? How do you want to be happy like that?" His mother said and it hurt him like he was being hit by dozens of sharp knives. And then there he was, going after the life expectancy he proposed for his life when he moved to LA. He couldn't complain and say he had a bad life there, he had an amazing job with an amazing team that, by the way, had turned into his family, one he had never actually had. He now had Maddie back, his older sister who had gone to live her life and ended up trapped in an abusive relationship, but that in the end managed to get out of it all and go back to his life, so he couldn't be more grateful to have her. And he had Eddie and Chris, his best friend and his son, who became the most important people in his life. And yet, he couldn't understand why he was feeling so empty and alone these last few days, existential crisis? Or just the fact that he never worked out with anyone. All the relationships he had were a chaos, and that included Abby, of course he loved her and felt good when he was with her, but in the end he found himself being left behind...why he was always left behind? Buck felt something damp and warm running down his eyes as he looked at the horizon, tears fall like an uncontrollable waterfall and he could not contain them. And then he remembered his current situation with Eddie, how he was feeling attracted to his best friend and the feeling wasn't mutual or at least Buck didn't think it was...why he couldn't have a moment of happiness? Didn't he deserve that? The thoughts came flooding into his mind along with the tears.

As he tried to control his thoughts and just reflect on everything, something popped into his mind, a phrase that Mattew (the old man of the gay elderly couple who they answered the call) had told him, "The true love, you don't find it, son. You make it." And Buck thought for a moment that he could build this with Eddie, live happy moments and enjoy each other for the rest of his life, Buck wanted it, but unfortunately that was impossible since Eddie didn't want anything with him and Buck couldn't force Eddie to like him and look at him not just as a friend, right? Besides, he couldn't ruin everything and end up ruining the friendship they had, there was a lot at stake, Chris was the main reason. He wouldn't know if he could live far away from the little one anymore, Chris was so special to him.

Buck finally managed to pull himself together and dry the last drops of tears on his face, he stayed there for a while longer, he had already managed to ease his mind a little, so he just sat there watching the landscape around him "will I ever be happy?" He thought.

_******* _

Things on 118 were quiet that morning, there weren't as many calls and when there was, they were simple things like the classic taking a kitten out of a tree.

They were all huddled on the couch watching the news talking about the current situation in the country and how the president was taking a lot of shit attitudes, by the way he was a shit, everyone agreed with that.

Buck was sitting next to Hen avoiding maximum eye contact with Eddie who was on the other side of Hen. The situation between them was already better since the last conversation they had and agreed to keep the friendship and just accept what happened, not that Buck completely agreed, but it was the right thing to do, he thought.

"I thought you were going to make some of your comments." Hen shook him.

She more than anyone knew he wasn't in the best mood. Buck was always one of the most excited and he always brought joy to the station when he arrived, but lately his mood was shit and his mind was in pieces, he just wish he could get some rest.

"Sorry, I was distracted." Buck forced a smile.

Eddie looked at him through the corner of his eye and Buck was able to record it, he just didn't want to pay too much attention.

"Are you all right, buddy?" Chimney asked frowning.

They were a family, all right. There was no reason for Buck to hide anything from them, but he wasn't in the mood, in fact he just wanted to finish his shift and be able to go home and get some rest.

He opened his mouth to give a decent answer, as much as it was a tattered lie, but before answering he heard someone shouting him down there: "Buck!" He recognized the little voice.

Buck then stood up and leaned on the railing looking down and spotting Chris with Carla by his side, he waved at the two, both smiling at him. Christopher extended the smile even more when he saw Buck coming down the stairs and heading towards him (damn he loved that kid so much), Buck reciprocated the smile and bowed to give him an affectionate hug, he laid his head on the boy's shoulder and sighed deep... wow, how Chris could change his mood so easily, he was feeling a little less worse.

"Hey buddy, what are you doing here?" Buck asked and he moved away from the hug just to look at Chris.

"I came here to visit you...I missed you Buck" He answered with a smile.

"and didn't you miss me?" Eddie appeared just behind, crouching next to Buck to hug his son.

"Yes, but you I see every day Daddy... Buck doesn't." Chris laughed and everyone did the same.

Eddie messed up the boy's hair and then kissed him on the forehead.

"He made me promise that i would bring him here to see his Buck before i was taking him home." Carla said by squeezing Chris' cheek and smiling at him.

Eddie then put his hand on Buck's shoulder to lean back and get up and reached out to help him get up. Buck gave him a polite smile and took his hand, the touch made him shudder a little, but he tried to disguise it so that no one would notice, Eddie however seemed to notice the boy's reaction and just smirked.

"I think I'm losing space here." Eddie joked and smiled at Chris and Carla and then Buck.

"What can I do if I'm adorable." Buck hummed, giving Chris a wink and smiling back at Eddie.

Eddie threw his hands up and shrugged off making Chris laugh even more and they all did the same.

"When are you going home for us to watch movies together? Dad and I miss that."

Eddie coughed a little and his cheeks began to blush with his son's comment causing Buck's corner of the mouth to lift a little. Carla muffled a laugh with her hand and looked away from them.

"When your father invites me, I know I'm not a visitor, but I can't just show up at your door unannounced, buddy." Buck poked Chris' nose with his forefinger.

"Daddy." Chris spoke nodding to the blonde one.

"You... You know you can show up at our house anytime you want, you're home Buck and besides Chris loves your company... and so do I." Eddie blushed a little and bowed his head a little embarrassed.

Buck blushed a little too and gave a sincere smile..damn how he loves that family.

"Okay then, how about Friday night?" He suggested and Eddie just shrugged and raised eyebrows in agreement while Chris shouted "Yes!" throwing the head back.

After Chris and Carla left, they returned to the silence that was before, Buck on one side and Eddie on the other. they were not upset with each other or anything, but Buck wanted a little space from everyone, okay? He had to deal with his mind alone, he didn't want anyone to have to listen to his fucking problems. As he looked distractedly at the fire truck, he saw it out of the corner of his eye Eddie coming towards him and resting his elbows on the handrail next to him.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Eddie asked..

"Nothing, I'm fine... just a little thoughtful." Buck gave him a little smile.

It wasn't okay, but it wasn't fair to drag Eddie into his own troubles, especially when it partly involved him. Buck couldn't just tell Eddie that he couldn't handle the fact that they were just friends, it wouldn't be fair at all.

"Come on Buck, you know that I know you a lot and I know when you're lying."

Shit, why did he have to fall in love with his best friend, Buck thought.

"My mind is a whirlwind at the moment, I'm just trying to deal with everything..." He didn't know why, but it was easy for him to vent to Eddie, maybe that's why they got along so well together, he could understand each other, no matter what the situation was and it warmed Buck's heart, knowing that he had someone to count on, a friendly shoulder so he could cry when needed, as much as that friendly shoulder was the real reason he was like that.

"Tell me what bothers you... is it about that situation?" Eddie stared at the blond one.

"No, no, uh... I'm fine with that situation." Buck lied. "I'm just feeling a little lonely lately." He looked away from Eddie as he spoke.

Eddie sighed a little and put his hand on Buck's shoulder, he was very close and Buck could feel his breath in his ear.

"Look... You're not alone Buck, you have amazing people around you and you have Chris and I... is there anything better?" Eddie shook his friend a little and smiled.

Buck returned the smile. "Yeah... I know."

Eddie pulled him into a hug and placed Buck's head on his shoulder, lightly stroking the blond strands of the boy's hair. Buck wrapped his arm around Eddie and squeezed the hug a little bit...shit that was so good and Buck couldn't help.

They were silent like this for a few seconds until they heard footsteps in the environment. "No more romance, it's time to work." Bobby joked.

He was standing in front of them with his arms folded and a huge smile on his face. When they saw him, they unbraided the hug quickly and and settled timidly. It's okay that it was just a hug, but that had been a little embarrassing when your captain is staring at you, and it's okay that it was Bobby, but they still blushed a little.

_******* _

Friday arrived and Buck was excited to spend time with Eddie and Chris, passed a little 7pm and that means he was a little late, but Buck tried not to think about it too much at the time, just rushed to take a nice hot shower and then put on the clothes he had taken almost half an hour to choose , passed one of his favorite perfumes and passed a gel in his hair while combing them, before going down the stairs, he gave one last check on the mirrors to know if he was at least presentable. It wasn't like he was going on a date with Eddie, but he wanted to at least make a good impression.

It wasn't long before he got to his car and left for the Diaz house, it would take at least twenty minutes to get there, the traffic was a little big in the city at that time of night. Most people were leaving their jobs after a tiring day, going on some date or even going to enjoy the nightlife with friends.

While driving, Buck found himself wondering how much he had changed in recent years. If it was a while ago he'd be getting ready to go to some bar to meet colleagues to spend the night drinking nonstop and flirting with some girls, but this was just Buck 1.0, the old Buck who didn't care about his future or at least had responsibility, the Buck that his parents always thought he was. He was now a new person, a person who was content with the little things in life, who was on his way to being a more mature person every day and a person who instead of wanting to live the nightlife, just wanted to be able to spend time with his two favorite people.

Eddie and Chris became so special in his life and he couldn't complain, as much as he wanted more about Eddie, he definitely couldn't complain about what he had.

As he approached an intersection, Buck heard his cell phone ring. He searched quickly and found him on a stand near the car's gear, it was Eddie who was calling probably worried that Buck was late, he smiled a little watching Eddie's name shine on his cell phone screen. He was really excited for that night and really wanted to be able to enjoy with both of them.

Buck probably didn't notice when he crossed the intersection and the signal closed, and even before he was able to answer Eddie's call, something crashed into his car..It was all very fast, his car flipped a few times and when stopped, Buck found himself hanging upside down fastened to the holding belt, soon after he felt something hot dripping down his forehead...blood. His head began to throbbing a lot as he tried to get rid of his seat belt.

"Help!" Buck yelled as loud as he could. "Someone help me..." his voice came out a little more frank.

He began to get dizzy and the side of his vision began to blur. He blinked a few times and swallowed his saliva, tasted like blood. The more Buck blinked, the more his vision blurred.

Until his mind snapped, a memory of him with Eddie and Chris while they three had fun on Christmas Eve and Chris made a wish to Santa Claus. "You two have an adorable son." The elf who worked on the site spoke to him. Buck tried to cling to that memory as hard as he could to try to stay awake, no long as his head throbbed and he was tired. Buck gave a few more quick blinks and then the darkness took hold of him.


	4. I will take care of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, i hope you all are enjoying it. Thank you so much for reading the fanfic!!!  
> Good reading, see you soon <3

It had been three hours since Eddie had arrived at the hospital when he received the news that Buck had been in a car accident while on his way at Eddie's home. Eddie had gone into despair and only managed to calm down when he could see Buck lying on the hospital bed with a huge headband. His heart had broken into a million pieces when seeing the boy like that. The doctors had told him that Buck was lucky , as he only had a mild concussion and a few superficial injuries , but with the way the accident happened, Buck was supposed to die and just the thought of almost losing the boy, gave Eddie chills . He didn't even want to think about losing Buck, he almost lost him once , he wouldn't be able to bear it again.

Eddie asked that Abuela takes off Chris with her , even that the kid was being a little relutant. "I want to be with my Buck , I need to take care of him" , Christopher said while crying and only relented after Eddie promised to take care of Buc k. Bobby, Chim and Hen were outside waiting for news , while Maddie showed up every twenty minutes to find out if her brother had woken up . And she was very concerned . "Maddie he'll be fine, Buck is strong" , Eddie tried to calm her. Everyone was anxious, as Buck had been in a serious accident not long ago and they didn't know what would happen if the clots came back.

The lights in the hospital room were a little dim and it made Eddie fell asleep sitting in a chair next to the bed with his hand involving Buck's hand. He was exhausted, it was past eleven-thirty at night and he needed to get some rest, but he didn't care , he would spend days there if it was necessary to be with his best friend.

Eddie was almost drooling with his head against the edge of the bed when he felt something brush his hand, he lifted his head and saw that Buck's fingers were moving . He then leaned forward and called him softly. "Hey Buck" , as he watched his friend try a little to open his eyes and then immediately frowning as he looked at his hands were involved together.

"Eds ..." Buck tried to look around. " Where are we?"

"At the hospital ... you were in a car accident." Eddie blushed a little at the boy's gaze, but tried to keep his voice steady.

He felt bad about seeing Buck in that state, it cut his heart and as much as he knew it hadn't been his fault, Eddie blamed himself for having invited the boy over to his house , if he hadn't done that, nothing would have happened.

Buck moaned a little as he tried to get up and lean his back against the pillow. "I don't remember almost anything ... I just remember my car turning." His voice was frank as he spoke and he was breathing a little heavily. 

"Don't worry, you'll be fine, the doctors are taking good care of you and they said it was nothing serious." Eddie stroked Buck's hand that still wrapped around his in order to reassure him and shows him that everything would really be okay and that he would be there by his side at all times.

Buck looked terrible and Eddie could see in his eyes that he was desperate to be going through this again, _that was not fair_ ... he thought.

“I… I'm sorry , Buck, if you hadn't been going to my house. . .none of this would have happened ” Eddie spoke softly while looking away from the boy in front of him.

He didn't want to stress Buck, the doctors had informed him that any stress could make his situation worse, so he was keeping himself as calm as possible even if he wanted to hug Buck very tight and wrap him in his arms.

Eddie hadn't even been able to deal with the fact that he was having feelings for his best friend, feelings that he still couldn't understand and now he still had to deal with having to see him in that state again, no matter how serious or painful it was, he had to be strong for Buck.

"Eddie, that wasn't your fault ..." Buck groaned a little as he settled on the bed. "You didn't make me come to your home, I was going because I wanted to be with you and Chris." Buck admitted. The blonde's look was sad as he stared at Eddie.

_Mierda...that look was painful to see._

Eddie took a deep breath and stroked Buck's hand again. He needed to show the boy that he would take care of him.

They heard a knock on the door and when Eddie turned to see who it was, he saw the doctor who visited them earlier coming in and waving to them both. 

"Hey handsome guys ... I'm glad Mr. Buckley woke up. ” She held up a clipboard and started flipping through the pages. " I bring good news, you will be discharged tomorrow morning and your exams are all ok, but I recommend that you rest and do not make much effort."

Eddie looked at Buck already reading his thoughts "No Buck, you are not free to work."

Buck shot him a face that Eddie knew meant _shut up and let the doctor speak_ .

“ He's right that you're free to go home, but not to work, at least so far. I will need you to come for further exams in the next two weeks and then, with everything ok, you will be free to work".

Buck growled softly and puffed out his nostrils to show how dissatisfied he was with this news.

Eddie patted his hand and forced a smile, making Buck relax a little. He couldn't explain how he managed, sometimes even in very tense situations to make Buck manage to relax with just a touch. Eddie had learned some techniques in the army to keep his team focused, but it almost never worked, but with Buck it was different and he always did.

"Well, I just stopped by to give you the information and check if you were okay, have a good night guys." The doctor was addressing Buck and then Eddie. "You two make a beautiful couple, by the way." She smiled as she left and closed the door leaving the two alone in the room.

It could be the fact that the air conditioning was on high , but out of nowhere the room was hotter than it should have been. Eddie looked at Buck who was a little flushed and he could feel his cheeks burning a little. He saw Buck lift the corner of his mouth in a smile and stepped forward to say something to dispel the atmosphere the damned doctor left, _HIJA DE LA_...he cursed her mentally. "You will be free tomorrow, huh ".

_What the fuck was that?_

"Uh ... yep, that's good, right. I couldn't take another day here, I hate hospitals. ” Buck said sheepishly. "I believe Maddie will have to put up with me a little longer".

Eddie could feel the sadness in his words. He knew Buck hated to depend on someone, he was more of a help type without wanting something in return. And that was something that Eddie admired the boy very much.

“Don't worry about it, you're going to be with me and Chris. We will take care of you". Eddie smiled widely .

"Oh Eds ... I don't ..." Buck tried to argue, but Eddie silenced him with a gesture.

“Buck, you are not in a position to argue and besides, I already talked to Maddie and she totally supported my idea . Let me take care of you, please". Eddie pleaded.

He wanted to do that, take care of his best friend and give him all the support he deserved at the moment. Eddie was not with Buck when he needed it most, right after the process and he wouldn't make that mistake again, _hell no._ He would stay with Buck and would only leave if he wanted to.

"You two are in conspiracy against me, right". Buck snorted and closed his eyes taking a deep breath and when he opened them he stared at Eddie. “I don't want to be a dead weight for you, Eds. You already have so many things to worry about, you have Chris to take care of".

"I can handle one more child." Eddie joked, making Buck roll his eyes and huff.

 _Mierda, Buck was so beautiful_ , Eddie found himself thinking. “Buck, you are not a dead weight to me at all. I don't want you to say that again. You are my best friend and we made a promise to take care of each other if necessary, remember?".

Buck took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. "Thank you..." The blonde one said as he smiled graciously at the boy in front of him. "Thank you for staying by my side and for wanting to take care of me".

Eddie saw Buck's eyes tear up as he still smiled at him. "Hey ... you don't have to thank me, but maybe some pancakes in the morning wouldn't hurt".

Buck snorted and tapped Eddie's forehead lightly . "So that's why you want to take me home, so I can be your cooker".

"No, your idiot...". Eddie laughed at the comment. "But I have to admit, Chris and I love your pancakes".

"I know, nobody can resist my cooking skills". Buck said with satisfaction.

 _Infierno_...Eddie wanted to kiss him so badly, but it wasn't right. Not after he convinced the blonde one with the idea of them maintaining the friendship, that by the way he only did it out of fear and because he still doesn't understand his feelings for his best friend. It wouldn't be fair to confuse Buck, let alone confuse himself. Buck had already been hurt badly in his relationships and Eddie really wanted the boy to find someone who could make him special and happy and give him everything he deserved . He wanted Buck to be happy, even if he wasn't with him.

"Shut up, Buckley." Eddie snorted and smiled.

For the rest of the night the other members of 118 came to see how Buck was doing and when Eddie assured them that he would spend the night there with the boy, they wished them good night and left. Maddie filled Buck with kisses and hugs and then instructed him to follow the doctor's recommendations to the letter. "I swear I will punch you if you are reckless." She said before giving her little brother a kiss and then thanking Eddie and then leaving.

Shortly after feeding Buck was already asleep and Eddie was admiring him while sitting in the chair until sleep enveloped him and he ended up falling asleep with his best friend.

*******

Buck felt a tightening in his heart when Eddie opened the door and led him into the house, he hesitated a little before following his best friend into the living room, Eddie helping him to sit as carefully as possible. If it weren't for the fact that Buck was hurt physically and mentally, he would have liked the care he was getting from Eddie, not that he really wasn't enjoying it, but it was complicated when you don't get that kind of attention very often Buck felt bad about all that was going on, as much as Eddie had guaranteed he wouldn't be a dead weight, it was how he was feeling at the time. They had stopped by his apartment shortly after leaving the hospital. Buck grabbed some clothes and his toiletry bag with some hygiene products, _the universe is conspiring against me_ , Buck thought before locking his apartment door and following Eddie to the car.

"Hey...what are you thinking about?" Eddie called , taking him out of his thoughts.

Buck sighed deeply and looked at his best friend who was sitting next to him on the couch. It was distressing for him to have to go through this and still put bringing Eddie to his problems, the boy felt guilty for what had happened which made Buck feel even worse.

"Nothing ... I ... I was just thinking how grateful I am that you are helping me". Buck stammered with his own lie.

Not that he wasn't grateful, in fact he was very grateful that Eddie was giving him his full support even if it wasn't his obligation.

Eddie frowned studying the blonde one before reply. "I know when you're lying Evan Buckley, I know you ... remember?".

_SHIT!_

"Ok ... I didn't lie about being grateful, you know I am and a lot, but I feel bad Eddie". Buck lowered his head and played with his fingers, trying his hardest not to look into those brown eyes that fixed him giving him full attention.

“Hey. We've been through this, okay? You're from home, Buck and you know it. Think like you were on vacation with Chris and me at home and don't stress about it”. Eddie touched the young boy's shoulder and stroked.

Buck didn't know why Eddie was being so affectionate with him since Eddie was always a guy who doesn't show his emotions, much less is he so affectionate, he only saw Eddie being like this with Chris and that was relevant since Chris was his son, not to mention that the guy had made it very clear to Buck that he just wanted his friendship and nothing more (even if Buck was still suffering about it), but he wouldn't complain. He would gladly accept the affection , after all he was enjoying Eddie treating him like that.

"Okay Eds I will try to get used to my new reality". The blonde one replied shyly still looking at the fingers absently.

"And look on the bright side, you'll be able to spend more time with Chris...and me" Eddie said the last word as quietly as possible, almost as if he were thinking out loud.

Buck laughed at the comment and at the same time made his ears warm up a little. That would be paradise and at the same time torture, having to be with Eddie every day and not being able to kiss him . Not that it doesn't happen at the station, but at least there he had a reason to control himself since he was in his work environment, but being inside the house would just be hell to have to control himself at all times.

" Yeah, it looks good." He admitted. “Do you mind if I lie down here for a while? I am feeling tired". Buck was already getting ready to lie on the couch, kicking his friend out of the place where he was sitting when Eddie intervened and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Nah, you 're going to lie in bed." Eddie helped his friend to his feet.

Buck whimpered and protested. "Eddie, I can't ...", He tried to argue but the other man interrupted him with a wave.

"You don't in a position to complain, and besides that couch sucks to sleep, there you will become more comfortable and be able to rest better." Eddie took him by the arm and guided him to the bedroom.

“I'm not a baby okay? I can go alone". Buck scoffed and Eddie laughed in his face.

Eddie had gone to pick up Abuela , but not before making sure that Buck would be fine and if he needed anything, but the blonde one gave him: “Just go Eddie, I'll be fine”, and then Eddie left while Buck took a nap .

*******

Buck woke up to the sound of the bedroom door opening. He struggled a little to get his eyes open while he saw something small coming towards him, when he finally managed to open his eyes, he saw that it was Christopher coming with that huge smile that flooded Buck with joy. "Buck!". The kid yelled before throwing himself on the bed and Buck pulling him into a hug as carefully as possible.

"Hey superman , how are you?". Buck ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead.

"I'm fine, I was worried about you Buck ... Daddy said you got hurt a little". Christopher raised his head to look at him with those little eyes that made Buck feel at home.

He had become so attached to the kid that if he had to give his life to save him (as he almost did) he would have given it without thinking twice. Christopher was the most perfect human being he had ever known and he wanted him in his life forever if possible.

"I'll be fine, buddy...I just need time". Buck lay down again and Chris lay beside him, stroking some strands of his hair with his small hands.

"Daddy and I will take care of you, Bucky...I promise". Chris said quietly as if Buck was sleeping .

Buck laughed with the sincerity in the kid's voice. "I know you both will...".

There was a noise at the entrance to the bedroom and when they both looked, it was Eddie leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed staring at them that made Buck's heart miss a few beats, his eyes sparkled and his smile went wide the ear. "I ordered pizza for dinner". Eddie said before entering the room and joining the two, he sat on the edge of the bed next to Chris and played with some of the kid's hair.

" I was taking care of Buck, Daddy". The grace in the kid's voice made the olders smile at the same time.

"Okay, but now let your Buck rest a little, go take a shower before dinner". Eddie pulled his son and helped him out of bed even the smallest whimpering a little.

"It's alright buddy, I'll be with you in a little while". Buck tried to console him.

He couldn't help the emotion he felt at seeing how attached Chris was to him, it just made him feel more at home.

“It works for you too. I'll get you a towel". Eddie rubbed his thigh before getting up and Buck asked all the gods to give him as much control as possible as he could feel his blood boiling at that touch.

"Okay daddy". Buck joked and watched when Eddie's cheeks started to turn red.

Eddie got up and went to his wardrobe in search of the towel. "Don't call me Daddy, that's weird". As much as it looked like Eddie was serious, Buck could see the corner of his mouth lifting.

"If you are saying..."

They spent the rest of the night eating pizza and watching random Disney movies that Eddie had told Buck that Chris saw almost every day and he himself had even recorded the characters' lines. When it started to get late, Eddie took Chris to brush his teeth (of course he whined for having to leave Buck), before putting him to sleep. Ten minutes later he came back in sweatpants and a white sleep shirt and holy shit that was a temptation and Buck didn't know how to handle it.

“Yeah buddy, I think I'm losing my place in this house. I only managed to put him to sleep after promising that he could stay with you a little later tomorrow before going to sleep". Eddie laughed at the comment as he joined Buck on the couch. "I don't know what the secret is or what you do, but he really loves you".

Hearing Eddie say that, made Buck laugh like a fool and blush a little. "What can I do, children love me". He shrugged. "But seriously, I love this kid very much, I would give him the world if it were possible".

Buck didn't know why but now Eddie was laughing like a fool and that sparkle in his eyes he had seen earlier in the bedroom was back. “I know, and I thank you so much for loving my son. You don't know how much it means to me”. Eddie admitted.

 _Why can I not kiss this man right now?_ Buck thought.

He squirmed a little on the couch and smiled awkwardly while his cheeks were still burning. Since when did he get that silly? Maybe Eddie had an effect on him after all.

At bedtime , Buck almost argued with Eddie because the older one insisted he would sleep on the couch and let the blonde one rest better in bed. "Eddie, your bed is huge, there is no reason for you to sleep on the couch...it's your bed and after all you said that the couch is awful to sleep". Buck said as he stood in the doorway, preventing Eddie to out.

Eddie sighed deeply and ran a hand over his face, he seemed too tired to protest. "Okay, but if you need more space please don't hesitate to let me know".

Buck snorted at the comment and pushed his friend to bed. "Rest assured Eddie , I'm not going to bite you". Buck joked while Eddie blushed as usual. " Unless you want to".

"Shut up, Evan". Eddie threw a pillow in the direction of the boy who grabbed it right away.

He joined his friend in bed after he turned off the light. It was a little tense to be lying in the same bed with the person he was in love with and he simply couldn't do anything, not only because of his current state, but also because it was not reciprocal. Buck then turned away from Eddie and sank his head into the pillow. "Eddie?" He called even though he didn't move from the position he was in.

"Yes?".

" Thank you ... for taking care of me". He admitted .

"I will always take care of you." Eddie ruffled his friend's hair slightly and Buck felt all the hairs on his body stand on end at the touch. "Good night, Buck".

"Good night, Eddie".


	5. I'm having a great time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here I am again with a new chapter. I am loving to see that people are reading the fanfic and that they are enjoying it, I really appreciate. It inspires me to write more.
> 
> I hope everyone has a great week and is safe, see you guys soon! <3

Eddie woke up with a very good smell of food invading his room, he narrowed his eyes a little with the crack of sunlight that blinded him a little. He then looked to the side and saw that Buck was gone, so he got up and went to look after his morning hygiene. When he was finished, Eddie left his room and went towards the kitchen and when he got there he found Christopher sitting in his usual chair and Buck was serving him some pancakes while he hummed back to the stove to do whatever he was doing. When he saw Eddie, he gave an excited smile that made the man's heart warm. He could get used to it every day, but unfortunately that reality would only last for a few weeks and then Buck would come home. Not that he didn't have the blond around most of the day, but he also wanted to be able to spend moments like that in family, just him, Buck and Christopher. It wasn't too much to ask, right? But at the same time, there was a voice in his head saying that it was not going to happen. He wasn't ready for that, not yet. As much as he wanted it so much, Eddie was still confused about it all, and he couldn't ask Buck to wait for him or even try to help him. No one could help him with this, only himself, but how?

Eddie pushed those negative thoughts away for at least that moment. He wanted to be able to enjoy this time he had with his boys, however briefly.

"Good morning, Eddie." Buck greeted him as he approached and sat in the chair next to Christopher. “I made the pancakes that you Diaz love so much”. Buck winked at him as he placed some pancakes on his plate.

"Thank you". Eddie thanked him as he messed up the curls of Chris who was laughing widely in his chair.

"Dad, can we take Buck to the zoo on the weekend?" Christopher was fidgeting as he spoke.

“I don't know if it's a good idea. The doctors told him to rest, mijo”. Eddie took a piece of the pancake and stuck it in his mouth while watching Buck still on the stove with his back to them, rocking his body in a failed attempt to try to dance while stirring the pancakes in the frying pan. He looked happy.

“Please, Dad, he said he wants to go. I will show him the giraffes ... and the lions ”. The sparkle in Christopher's made Eddie huff in joy.

He loved the fact that his son was always happy and smiling, no matter what the situation he was in, Chris is always in a good mood, he always saw the good in things and Eddie couldn't be more thankful for the son he had. Even after Shannon's death, Christopher always tried to be optimistic and even though after the tsunami, that Eddie discovered he was sad and missed his mother, he soon got to recover and return to being that child that everyone loved. Not that he stopped loving or missing his mother, but Christopher learned to deal with the loss. He was only 9 years old and he shouldn't have gone through all that, but the son was stronger than Eddie could think of being and he could only be proud of the incredible human being that Christopher was.

"You don't have to worry, Eddie." Buck pulled him out of his thoughts as he came to join them at the table. “I'm not going to make much of an effort and if I don't feel well, I'll let you know. Besides, I would love to go to the zoo with the Diaz boys ”.

"You promise?" Eddie asked, narrowing his eyes a little.

"Yes Eddie, I promise." Buck shrugged and deep down Eddie knew the blond might be dying, but he wouldn't want to ruin their afternoon. Even more the happiness of Christopher, who was jumping around in his chair while smiling happily. But the first situation that Eddie saw that his friend was not feeling well, he would not hesitate to bring him home.

"And who's your favorite Diaz, Buck?" Christopher asked.

"Of course it's you, buddy." Buck gave the kid a wink as Eddie huffed in his chair. "Don't be jealous Eddie, I like you too...even if you are annoying sometimes. " Buck nudged his ribs with his finger which made him bounce on the chair.

Christopher gave an amused laugh and then the other two surrendered to the moment and laughed like two children.

As he laughed, Eddie watched Buck. Every detail of his friend, his cheeks turning pink as he smiled, his sea blue eyes that looked at him every second showing him that Buck was seeing him looking. Then Eddie soon turned his attention away from that beefcake and turned to his son who was trying to recover from the laughter.

"Ok kiddo, let's hurry up or you will be late for class". Eddie hurried to grab everyone's plates and run to take them to the sink.

"Eddie, you can leave it there and I'll wash it, go to get Chris ready and take him to school." Buck said as he got up and went to get the boy out of there.

Eddie thanked him and kissed his friend on the cheek and then hurried Christopher to take him to the bathroom to brush his teeth and when the kid was ready he took his son's backpack and took him to the entrance door.

“I'll be back soon. If you need anything, just call me ”. He addressed Buck, who was looking at him with a look of confusion on his face.

"O...okay". Buck blinked a few times and nod.

Eddie frowned as he waited for Christopher to say goodbye to his friend. What had he done wrong for the man to have that look? He didn't really know.

While in the car taking Christopher to school he thought for a few seconds and managed to remember, mierda he had unconsciously kissed Buck's cheek. Eddie always did this to Shannon before going out with Chris somewhere. But it wasn't like he was seeing Shannon in Buck, but it was that comfort, that moment of being in family that made him feel that way. And being with Buck made him feel so at home. Why did things have to be so complicated between them? Eddie tried not to think about it too much while arriving at school and helping Christopher with his crutches and escorting him inside the school.

"Good morning, Eddie". Ana Flores greeted him as they approached the classroom.

“Good morning, Miss Flores. I'm sorry ... Ana ”. He smiled sheepishly.

"It's good to see you, how have you been?" She held out her hand and he shook it.

"I'm fine, thank you". It was kind of frustrating for Eddie to think that a month ago he was charmed by her and had even considered going out with her just because he wanted to get Buck out of his head. Not that it worked after all.

"Dad, Buck and I are going to the zoo over the weekend ... to see the giraffes and the lions." Christopher said as he grabbed his father's legs and Eddie stroked his curls.

"And who is Buck?" Flores asked gently as he bowed and turned his attention to the little one.

"He's Daddy's partner and my best friend."

"He's my... uh ... work partner". Eddie coughed and forced a smile as he felt his cheeks burn.

Flores raised his eyebrows at him, but then smiled back at Chris. “That looks incredible, huh. I hope you have a lot of fun ”.

“We will, right, Daddy? ” Chris caught his father's attention.

"Uh ... yes, of course". Eddie could still feel his cheeks burning a little.

"Well, Chris, let's go in. The class is about to start" Flores called the kid. While she waits for the boy to enter, she turns to Eddie who was still standing there. “It was nice to see you, Eddie. I hope you have a great day".

"Yes. You too, Ana ”. He waved at her and left.

As he came home, Eddie snorted a little, remembering what had just happened. "Chris" He said shaking his head and turning his attention to the traffic that had just formed in front of him.

*******

Buck was flicking channels on the TV randomly while he was lying on the couch. He was still thinking about the situation from earlier when Eddie had kissed him on the cheek. He wanted to understand why the friend had done that, but he wasn't going to ask. Not after Eddie made their situation very clear. Maybe he just did it out of habit or something, but he had never treated Buck like that before, what the hell was going on?

He only realized he had fallen asleep when he felt Eddie's warm hands lifting his legs so he could sit on the couch and then place them on his lap. Buck liked the feeling, but pretended disdain as he opened his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Sorry, I ended up dozing off."

"And it was what you should be doing." Eddie patted his knee lightly and then leaned back on the couch relaxing a little.

He was so handsome and Buck couldn't help because sometimes he couldn't take his eyes off the guy. In addition to Eddie being physically handsome, he was charming and had a smile that made Buck melt like a popsicle in the summer. Eddie's eyes ended up taking Buck by surprise and he quickly hurried to disguise the look he was giving. "Eh uh, how was it at Chris's school?"

Eddie snorted a little at the scene of his friend turning red. "Well, he was all happy telling his English teacher that we will be taking you to the zoo over the weekend". Eddie propped his elbows lightly on Buck's legs so he could face him better. He always did that when he wanted to be serious. “In fact, are you sure you really want to go to the zoo? We can do something lighter, that doesn't require much effort. Chris is not going to be sad about this, you know. ”

Buck got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen to get a glass of water. He wasn't much for serious conversation, at least not when it came to seeing Christopher happy. He already had a lot of guilt inside him for missing the kid in the tsunami, and even though Eddie pleaded thousands of times to get it out of his head, Buck was always the type who didn't accept failing other people, especially with whom he loved. "I'm fine Eddie, I already promised that I will tell you if I'm not feeling well, remember?"

“I know Buck, but you know that I get worried. You have been through a very heavy situation with blood clots and everything, I don't want that to happen again ”. Eddie followed him into the kitchen and was propped up on the end of the table while Buck drank the glass of water.

“I'm flattered by your concern, Diaz, but I'll be fine. Don't make me have to call you Daddy again for being so protective. ” Buck joked and Eddie rolled his eyes in mockery.

When Buck passed Eddie on his way back to the sofa, he ended up stumbling halfway and before he even found the ground, he felt a pair of strong arms around him and then Eddie was pulling him back. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, Buck's only view was of Eddie's face just inches from him, while the other's breath tickled his skin. Eddie looked at his lips that were dry and thirsty for a kiss and then he stared into Buck's eyes and for a second the blond could see his pupils dilate a little.

Eddie then stepped away and helped his friend straighten up. "Are you alright?" He asked clearing his throat.

"I am okay, thank you." Buck forced a smile and ran to the couch.

He had to try to keep his sanity intact or, otherwise, he could lose his mind at any time. It had been torture, seeing Eddie looking at him with desire and then just giving up. He was unable to help himself at that moment. Buck then lay back on the couch and pretended he was going to take a nap, it was the best thing to do after all.

"I'm going to take some shower. If you need, just call me". He heard Eddie speak, but he didn't lift his head to look at him, he couldn't.

"Okay".

*******

"Have you any news about Buck? ” Chimney asked as Maddie brought a tray of popcorn and deposited it on the table.

It had become a ritual for them. Every Friday night they had a kind of cinema session, with popcorn, lots of goodies (some of which had now been cut due to Maddie's pregnancy) and each other's company which was everything she loved most.

“I talked to him earlier, it looks like they're going to the zoo tomorrow. I said he was supposed to be at rest, but you know how stubborn my brother is ”.

"Yeah, I know the Buckleys well." Chimney scoffed as Maddie threw popcorn in his face.

"What do you mean with that, huh?" She raised an eyebrow, but had a wide smile on her face.

Maddie loved her boyfriend's way of being funny and playful, even though he loved making fun of her brother, which made her laugh out loud, but not close to Buck since he felt betrayed when that happened.

"I am saying that you guys are a little stubborn when you quarrel with something or are upset and you know it, baby". He winked at her and Maddie just rolled her eyes in amusement.

Maddie sometimes didn't even believe in the life she was having. Two years ago she would never have imagined that she could finally be happy as she was with Chimney. All she had was Doug and she loved him blindly to the point of not seeing how much he treated her like rubbish, and when she finally managed to see, she couldn't get out of that attacker's clutches. It took some time for her to take courage and finally run away, and if it weren't for Buck she might be lost now. She had never considered going back to her parents' house, and besides they were terrible people with her and her brother, Doug would find her there. Maddie really loved her brother for being so loyal to her when she needed it most, even though she didn't deserve to have abandoned him when he was the one who needed her, but one day she would make up for it. And now she was there with a settled life and with a boyfriend who would move heaven and hell for her, and Maddie could only be thankful for all this and the baby who would soon arrive. She was so happy.

"Yep, you are right". She shrugged.

“By the way, do you know if something is going on between Buck and Eddie? I know they are best friends and stuff, but lately they are kind of different from each other, especially after Eddie's bid to almost plead with Buck to stay at his house while he recovers. And I've had enough of seeing Buck giving Eddie a sly look". Chimney frowned.

Maddie snorted and then couldn't help the laugh that went up her throat. “Honey, you're freaking out, this is on your mind. Eddie just wanted to take care of my brother so much, because they are best friends and that's what best friends do, take care of each other when necessary. You spend so much time making fun of them that you ended up creating it in your head ”. She had to be convincing as possible, right?

Buck had confided that secret to her about kissing Eddie and being in love with him. As much as she and Chim always shared information with each other about everything that happened, she couldn't just hand Buck over. Especially when the brother had told her that Eddie just wanted to keep the friendship and forget what had happened. "You will find someone special, Evan". She had told him trying to comfort him.

And in fact Maddie really wanted her brother to find someone special. It was obvious that she wanted Eddie to be that someone because she saw how much chemistry they had and also because her brother was in love with the man, but nothing in life is how we want it to be, right? And Buck deserved it, deserved to be loved by someone who made him happy. He had already gone through so many difficult things and she just wanted her brother to finally have his moment of happiness.

"And how's your brother doing?" She tried to change the subject. Maddie was not too good at keeping a lie. If her boyfriend keep asking questions she would end up handing her brother over.

“Well, he's at home. But I told him not to take any girls there, I don't want to go through the same situation that happened last time ”.

"I'm glad that you're getting along and that you allowed yourself to get to know him better." Maddie went to meet her boyfriend and placed a small kiss on his lips and then rested her head on his chest.

"Yes. After all, that's what the brothers are for, right?” Chimney lightly caressed her belly, which by the way only grew every day, showing them that this was really happening and soon they would be parents.

Maddie laughed at the comment and then turned her attention to the television that played a romantic scene from the movie they were watching.

*******

Eddie was awakened with a small hand stroking his face. When he opened his eyes to see what it was, he saw Christopher standing beside his bed, stroking his beard and with an animation in his eyes that he would never be able to have that hour of the morning.

“Wake up daddy. Buck asked me to come and wake you up, he has already prepared our breakfast and is waiting for you to have coffee and go to the zoo ”. Christopher forced his crutches a little while shifting. He was really excited, you could see in his face how much he wanted it and Eddie couldn't say no to his favorite person, right?

“Okay, I'm getting up. Go and join Buck at the table and let him know that I'm coming". He said as he got up and kissed his son on the forehead and then went to the bathroom to do his morning routine.

It wasn't long before he went to join the other two. When he arrived in the kitchen they were already having breakfast and Buck immediately looked up when he saw him and smiled at him. That damn smile that left him so disconcerted. That early in the morning Buck, really? Eddie thought.

He greeted him as he sat down and picked up the newspaper next to his coffee cup and started flipping through it to get the news of the day. Nothing very new, but the same tragedies as always, people being kidnapped, murders and everything, but what worried him was reading an article that said that the virus he had seen on the news a few weeks ago, was spreading across some countries and that it even had some cases in California. Which made him shudder a little at the thought. Eddie had already participated in wars and saw many people killed, but in isolated places, but with a virus it was a different situation and nobody would be in a protected zone if it spread.

“Did you see that about the virus, Covid-19? I think that's the name ”. He turned the newspaper over so Buck could read the story.

“Wow. Let's hope it doesn't become a pandemic. Imagine the chaos it would be ”. Buck shuddered a little at the thought. "But let's put the bad news aside, who's ready to see some lions?" Buck winced and tried miserably to imitate a lion's roar.

Eddie rolled his eyes and snorted in his chair. He loved the man's playful way, always trying to relax and always making Christopher burst out laughing as he did then.

"I am". Christopher raised his arms as high as he could in excitement.

It didn't take long before everyone was ready and lining up at the door to go towards Eddie's car.

Luckily for them, it was a weekend and the traffic was not very high which meant that it took them only about twenty minutes to reach the place.

  
Eddie couldn't contain the happiness that settled in his chest as he glanced at the animated smile on Buck's face. He seemed so happy when Christopher that who screamed, "We arrived!" When the car stopped in the parking lot.

"Let's have a little fun, boys." Eddie said getting out of the car and heading towards Buck who was already in the back seat helping Christopher out of the car. “And Buck, don't forget our promise. Anything and we will leave at the same time ”.

"Okay daddy". Buck had a mischievous smile as he spoke.

Eddie rolled his eyes as usual at his friend's sarcastic comments and followed them both to the zoo entrance. "If you call me daddy again, I will hit you."

“Hmm. Some spanking wouldn't be bad". Buck winked and Eddie blushed instantly. "Geez. I'm just kidding Eddie, no need to be embarrassed".

Eddie asked God to give him every possible self-control or he would attack Buck right there. "Shut up, Evan." He nudged his friend with his shoulder and pushed him slightly towards the entrance.

They started visiting giraffes. Christopher was delighted all the time, asking Buck to lift him as high as possible to try to get to the height of the giraffes, and Buck, like an obedient fool who did everything to see the boy happy, picked him up and lifted him. Christopher threw his head back and laughed out loud that you could hear on the other side of the park

“Look, Dad. I am the size of giraffes ”. Christopher screamed innocently.

Eddie wasted no time and took his phone out of his pocket, taking the most perfect photo he could take without being a professional photographer. The photo captured the moment when one of the giraffes lowered its neck a little and stood very close to Christopher, who had a smile that made Eddie's heart swell with joy. And there was Buck, who smiled absently as he looked at Chris with a fascinated look that showed how much he loved that kid. Eddie didn't think twice about putting that picture as his cell phone wallpaper. That photo was really capturing everything he wanted.

Eddie took a few more pictures that would be recorded in his gallery and then they went to visit the other animals. At each stop, Chris insisted the three of them take pictures together on Eddie's cell phone and the man didn't question it at any time. He was really enjoying the ride, it was being fun and enjoyable. After they passed the snake site, it made Buck wince a little, as he was not a big fan of snakes. They decided it was time to stop for a bite to eat and for Buck not to try too hard.

"Thanks for the ride Eddie, I'm really having a lot of fun with you." Buck said as he took a bite of the taco they bought from the food truck.

"Yep. I'm also having a great time. Everything to see my two boys happy ”. Eddie replied while messing up the curls of Chris who was nibbling on his own taco.

He saw when Buck bit off a taco and left the corner of his mouth dirty. Eddie informed the blond, but he was too slow to understand until Eddie went to him and wiped the corner of Buck's mouth with his thumb and then licked his finger to wipe it off. He didn't notice malice in what he had done until he saw Buck gaping at him.

"I...uh... I'm sorry, it was a little dirty and you didn't understand, so ...". Eddie was more shy than he should have been.

Buck straightened his spine uncomfortably and turned his attention to the rest of the taco in his hand. "No problem, I just wasn't ready".

“Guys, can we go see the lions? I have finished eating ”. Eddie mentally thanked his son for breaking the tension that was gathering around them.

“Well, I'm done, too. Here we go". Buck disguised as he picked Chris up and dragged him away. "Come on Eddie, you don't want to lose the lions, do you?"

Eddie took Chris's crutches and followed them. When they got there, the man was fascinated to see a lioness lying with her cub resting on top of her. Buck called for him to come and stay close to them and have a better view. Eddie previously took a few more pictures of the son with his friend and then went to join them.

While they watched the lions' family, Buck put Christopher on the ground, but in the middle between him and Eddie. And then the kid wrapped his arms around each other's legs making the two big ones stay very close to each other and when Eddie realized, Buck was putting his arm to rest around his shoulder, but he didn't move for a second, allowing that moment to be just the three of them. And whoever saw them from the outside would say that they were a very beautiful and envious family.

"Buck, imitate the lion again?" Chris asked.

Buck shrugged and did his best imitation of a roar he could while grimacing to look like an angry lion. Chris swung his arms around their legs as he laughed and laughed more.

Eddie snorted beside Buck and stared at him while the guy was still making faces at Chris. Eddie couldn't help and even though he didn't want to accept or assume that, he was hopelessly in love with Evan Buckley.


	6. Thinking about you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, i'm back!!!
> 
> I would like to apologize for being gone. I've been going through a few bad weeks and I took the time to rest my mind, so it took me a while to post new chapters, but I'm back. Anyway, I'm already writing the next chapters, so I promise not to take that long to post.
> 
> I hope you like the chapter and don't forget to comment at the end, okay? So...let's read!!!

The past two weeks had been wonderful and Buck had nothing to complain about. He was slowly recovering from the bruises caused by the accident and even his head was almost 100% and it didn't hurt anymore, only if he tried hard. He had a great time with Eddie and Chris and he just wanted to be able to have that for the rest of his life. Being with his two favorite boys was like being at home and he was so attached to them that just the idea of having to go back to his apartment in a few days and having to go back to his lonely routine, gave his chest a squeeze and made him feel distressed. Buck was so attached to the two that he couldn't help himself about it. Eddie had been so kind to him during his recovery, always worried if Buck was comfortable or needed anything. He hadn't really seen that side of Eddie, maybe with Chris, but never with anyone else and having all that attention from his best friend that he was hopelessly in love with, was very good, because Buck was never one to get much attention from that form. He was always the person who gave 100% of his attention, always gave his best to people without wanting anything in return, but now it was Eddie who was giving all his attention to him, actually dividing between him and Chris. And Buck was so happy with it all and he didn't want it to end. And then there he was lying on the bed next to Eddie, watching him sleep and snore softly and that just made Buck want to touch him, caress him and hug Eddie, but he had to be content to just watch him and Buck was so in love with his best friend that it hurt. And at the same time it was frustrating to have to settle for “just friendship”. Okay, in his case it wasn't just friendship, but it was torture to have Eddie so close to him every moment and not be able to have him completely. They've shared the same bed since Buck came to stay at Eddie's, but they've always kept a reasonable distance so neither of them will feel uncomfortable. Buck insisted on staying on the couch, but Eddie was very decisive with the idea of them sharing a bed. The touching between them had increased, every night the three of them played pillow fight (which by the way was the best part of the day for Christopher) before going to sleep and it had become a ritual. Eddie always felt the need to touch him or even climb on top of him to immobilize him, which for Buck was a fucking torture to have Eddie on top of him. Obviously he had to control himself because of the presence of a child in the place, but Buck could have sworn that his friend was doing it on purpose, a way of saying that he wanted it too, but he wasn't ready to admit it. Damn, his head was so confused by all that, he wanted Eddie so badly, but he also didn't want to press anything. What was left was to wait for the next step and Buck was willing to do that, wait for Eddie.

"Good morning, are you enjoying watching me sleep?" Eddie was smiling with his eyes still closed.

Buck's eyes widened. He hadn't noticed that he was still watching Eddie sleep. “Eh, uh. Good Morning". His cheeks burned like embers.

So he didn't think twice about getting up and running to the bathroom to start his morning routine. Fuck he was so ashamed.

When he came out of the bathroom, Eddie was still lying down, but he was watching him with a smirk on his face. “Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed, man. I was just kidding with you ”.

Buck shrugged and hurried out of the room. "I wasn't watching you sleep, anyway."

"Liar". Eddie scoffed as he watched Buck disappear out the door.

Eddie was so handsome when he later appeared in the kitchen while Buck and Chris ate pancakes that were the favorite of the Diaz boys. Eddie was still in his pajamas and his hair was a mess, but to Buck he looked like a Greek god he was mesmerized by beauty. Eddie was hadsome and it wasn't just his flawless muscles and abs, he was charming and Buck loved it when he smiled. Eddie went straight to kiss his son on the forehead and then squeezed Buck's shoulder in a loving way as he headed for the fridge to get more milk.

"Daddy can I stay at home today and spend the day with Buck?" Chris shot that puppy-dog look at his father as Eddie came to sit beside him.

"Nice try, kid, but you won't miss class". Eddie replied as Chris turned his attention back to his pancake and blew out a frustrating breath.

Buck, who was on the other side of the table, watched Christopher's scene of frustration. “Hey, superman, don't worry. I will be here when you get back from school, I am not going anywhere. You guys will still put up with me for a few more days ”.

Buck winked at Chris and made him smile.

He seemed to have been pleased to know that Buck would be there when he returned. Buck has always been very attached to Chris since the first day they met. He had a huge affection for the boy and that had only increased in the last few months. Especially after the tsunami and after the lawsuit when he realized how important he was to Eddie and Chris. He really had nothing to complain about, he had the best people in his life and he never wanted to ever have to walk away from the Diaz boys.

"Unfortunately, I will have to endure a few more days of snoring in my ears." Eddie scoffed and Buck snorted, rolling his eyes.

"I told you since the first day that I could sleep on the couch."

Eddie shook his head and snorted, “I'm just kidding, you idiot. You know very well that you don't bother me. That you snore is true ... ”. He shrugged and laughed. "But I can live with that."

Christopher, who was in his chair watching the entire conversation, was now laughing heartily. Buck snorted and then turned his attention to his own plate.

While Eddie took Chris to school and then went to the station to start his shift, Buck decided to spend the rest of the morning doing something useful. he put all the laundry in the washer while washing the bathrooms in the house and then started cleaning the rest of the house. When he was done, he took a hot shower and went to the kitchen to start making lunch. He had invited Maddie (obviously asking if everything was okay with Eddie) to go to lunch and spend the afternoon with him. They had seen each other a few times during his stay at the Diaz house and she always made the excuse that she was busy, but Buck knew his sister didn't want to disturb him and besides she was dealing with her pregnancy so he would let it go.

*******

118 was not the same without Buck, and with every minute that passed at the station, he couldn't stop thinking about his best friend. Damn he was so in love with Buck and he just didn't know what to do. It was all so confusing in his mind. He had a real sense that the blonde felt the same way about him, Eddie could see the gleam in his friend's eyes when he looked at him. But it was all so uncertain for Eddie. He wanted to have buck, he wanted to be able to kiss him, wake up next to him every morning (not that he hadn't been doing it in the past few weeks) and be able to give all the love and affection Buck deserved, but Eddie was a disaster with demonstrate your feelings. The last person with whom he had this kind of intimacy was Shannon and even so Eddie never managed to give 100% of himself, because deep down he knew and felt it was not right to donate so much since their marriage was a disaster from the beginning . Of course, they had a good time and one of them was when their son was born and of course he would always love and care about her, but he had never fully shown his feelings. And now with Buck, he felt so comfortable wanting to be close to him and touch him, but with regard to his feelings Eddie was still a total mess and knew he couldn't trust himself. If he was honest with Buck about how he felt, he would eventually ruin everything and throw all the friendship and trust that they built with such fondness for water down. Eddie was aware that Buck and he already went through some turbulence regarding their friendship, for example at the time of the lawsuit, but they managed to get over the whole situation and let their friendship prevail, but that was too much, messing with Buck's feelings like that was very wrong. Eddie knew about Buck's relationship history and he also knew that everyone would abandon him at one time or another, and as much as he was convinced that he would never abandon Buck, he knew that at one time or another he would hurt him because he it was a total mess and Buck didn't deserve to be with someone like that. He deserved someone to make him happy and to be there for him when he needed it. Not that Eddie wasn't doing that role as a best friend, but Buck deserved so much more. Eddie was so happy to have him at his house, the two weeks his friend had been there were the best and it was a long time since he felt happy as he felt now with Buck in his house and being able to spend more time with him and Chris. Eddie really didn't want it to end.

"So....let me guess, are you thinking about Buck?" Hen asked as she joined him on the couch.

Eddie hadn't even noticed her until she spoke. “Uh, what? Who said that?"

Hen snorted and put a hand on his shoulder. “Eddie we all miss him here. This here becomes a true silence without the presence of that boy. And I could see how you’ve been out of orbit since Buck had his accident”.

Eddie really couldn't understand how Hen could read his mind, but she had to stop doing that, as it was kind of scary as she always knew what he was thinking. Was it that obvious?

"Yes, I feel a little alone without him here." Eddie admitted. “Not that I don't like your presence, you are all my family, you know. But he is my best friend and as much as I see him every day when I get home, it is strange when I get here and I don’t see him ”.

“This is normal Eddie, don't worry about it. Sometimes when Chimney and I are on different shifts, I also feel lonely, but this is normal and as much as we are all a family and a close-knit team, we have people we feel more comfortable with playing, talking or just to be together ”. Hen offered him a warm smile, showing how much she knew what he was feeling.

He returned the smile and took her hand when she offered it. They were both creating a certain bond in the past few months. Eddie was not so close to her, but lately they were getting closer and little by little Eddie was comfortable sharing what he was feeling with her. He was more intimate with Karen. Since May's graduation, they had been closer and Eddie had almost always invited her over for coffee at a restaurant near the station. She was a great listener and Eddie saw a person there who could be trusted about what he was feeling. It was no longer easy to talk to Karen. And it was then right after the zoo tour that he told her that he was in love with a guy (he didn't mention Buck's name) and how he was confused by all that and she didn't waste time giving her great advice and trying to help him to understand what he was feeling. In part, she managed to help, but his mind was still a mess. He would have to work harder to try to understand all that. Perhaps a few consultations with Frank would help get his mind right.

"Yes, you are right". That's what he said at last when he realized that Hen was waiting for him to say something.

"Look Eddie, I know we're not that close and I know it's not my business the things that happen in your life, but I hope you know that we are your family and we will always be here for you ok?"

**_Mierda_** , Karen told her about the conversation they had. "Did Karen tell you anything?"

Hen frowned. “No…wait, are you and Kare keeping secrets? Since when has this been happening? ”

Eddie scratched the back of his head and forced a shy smile. "Well, we have gone out for coffee a few times and we have been talking about some things that have happened to me, so she has helped me a lot".

“Wow, I feel betrayed. She didn't tell me about any of this ”.

“I’m sorry, Hen. I asked her not to tell anyone. It's very personal and I just told her because she is a great listener and I felt confident about telling her ”. Eddie flinched as he watched his friend shrug.

“This is true, she is a great listener and great at giving advice so I let that go. Well, I hope she can help you with what you need. But anyway what I said about being here for you, was true ok? ”. She winked at him and stood up.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but ok". Eddie smiled nervously.

"Yes, you know, but it's okay, don't worry”. Hen took a step toward the kitchen, but came back at once. "And changing the subject, how's Buckaroo doing?"

“Well, he's fine. Happy to be spending time with Chris. Those two when they are together is synonymous with a real mess and a little pajama party ”. Eddie smiled happily and then hurried to straighten up when he realized how silly he was looking, he was going to end up be caught red handed. "Anyway, today Maddie is going to spend the afternoon with him, so I think he's doing very well”.

“I am very happy for him. And I'm glad he has you. That boy really went through a lot of trauma, and it's good to know that someone is taking care of him so well ”. Hen shot him a knowing look.

"Well, I just know that when the Buckley siblings get together, good things don't come out." Chimney joked as he joined them.

*******

Buck was almost done preparing lunch when he heard a knock on the door. He wasted no time and went to answer it. Maddie had some bags in her hand and a smile that Buck was already familiar with.

"What are all of these?" He asked pointing to the bags.

Maddie snorted and entered the house when her brother invited her in. "Hi to you too, little brother". She scoffed. "And these are some of the things I bought for Chris and ice cream."

“Thank you Maddie, it's very thoughtful of you to bring Chris gifts, he will really love it. And you shouldn't be eating too much sugar, it's bad for your pregnancy...wait, is it chocolate ice cream? ” Buck grabbed the bag from his sister's hand as if it were something precious, which for him was something like that.

Maddie laughed at the scene. “Obviously it's chocolate, Buck. I remember it is your favorite ”.

"Okay, this time it goes because you picked up on my weak point, but no more eating treats or I'll tell Chimney." Buck narrowed his eyes and pretended to be warning his sister.

Maddie shrugged and went to sit at the table while Buck went to put the ice cream in the fridge. "If you do that, I'll tell everyone that you pissed in bed”.

"Hey! This is a low blow. I was eight years old and had trouble sleeping alone and you know that very well ”.

Maddie couldn't stand it and laughed out loud almost losing her breath as she laughed. "Don't mess with a pregnant woman."

They had lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the crazy things they did when they were children or teenagers, memories of a time when they were inseparable and Buck could count on his older sister for everything he needed. Whatever happened to him, she was there to protect him with nails and claws. Even from their parents, Maddie was always ready to defend Buck from their offenses or unpleasant comments. And then she married Doug and it all went downhill. And there Buck was alone having to face the world ever since. In part this helped him to create a certain independence and to build up the courage to leave home and go on to his adult life and freedom.

"Forgive me Buck, forgive me for leaving you". Tears fell on Maddie's face as she took her brother's two hands and squeezed them tight. "I never wanted to leave you, and it broke my heart in a thousand pieces when Doug forbade me to see you."

"I know...". Buck had sincerity in his eyes, he knew that nothing Maddie did was of her own free will and it just made him feel bad for not having noticed or for not helping her. “You are here now and it is the two of us together again. And ... hey! We have a huge family now ”.

Maddie shook her head and then pulled her brother into a tight hug. When she walked away, she wiped away the last tears that still ran down her face and smiled when Buck did the same.

“Speaking of family. How is the situation with Eddie, did you talk any more about the thing that happened between you guys? ”

Buck scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. "Well, no. But he has been so kind with me lately. Not that I'm not enjoying it, on the contrary, I'm loving it. But it's a side of Eddie that I've never seen and it's so torturous, you know”. He sighed deeply and looked at the floor, looking lost in thought. "I'm completely in love with him, Maddie, but as much as he is acting like that with me, I don't know if it's because he feels guilty about the accident or if he really is feeling something for me too”.

“Look, Buck, I already told you my opinion in this situation. I really hope you guys stay together, cuz you deserve a person who loves you and cares about you and I see the sparkle in Eddie's eyes when he looks at you, but I also get scared. You have had some bad experiences with relationships and I don't want you to get hurt ”.

He could see how worried the sister was and even he was. He was stepping into unknown territory with respect to Eddie, the boy was always so reserved with his feelings. Buck almost never saw him vent or demonstrate something often. And he was really tired of deluding himself with people. As much as Eddie was his best friend, he wasn't sure he could trust not to get hurt. It was a difficult situation, but Buck was willing to wait for Eddie's time, even if that time would never come.

“I know, but for now, what I have left is to enjoy the moments I'm having with him and Chris. It's been the best weeks for me, these two have really been very careful with me and I have nothing to complain about ”.

“You know that I am very happy to that you’re okay and to know that you are being well taken care of. I really hope that you and Eddie get together”. Buck could see how sincere his sister was in every word. She had a happy smile on her face, the same as she did when she smiled at Chimney.

It felt good to be loved and he had it again with Maddie. He hadn't felt that way in a long time, but now that he had her back, he felt loved and knew he had someone to count on if it all fell apart. Buck didn't know what the future had in store for him, but he knew he would be prepared for what came and knew he had someone to rely on. And he was also willing to wait for Eddie as long as he needed, even if it meant waiting for eternity. There was no one else in the world with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life other than Eddie, he was convinced of that. Obviously he knew his heart would break in a thousand pieces if Eddie wanted nothing with him in the end, but Buck was really ready for it. He was ready for anything and everything.


	7. A total disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! I already apologize if the chapter has a lot of mistakes, I'm really sleepy and I don't even know what I'm doing LMAO I will edit again soon, I promise.
> 
> I hope you guys like it and don't forget to comment at the end of the chapter. It really helps me and I love it when you guys comment <3
> 
> Hope you all are fine and safe.
> 
> Good reading.

“Are you sure you don't want to come with us?". Buck asked for the thousandth time.

  
Buck had gone to pick up Chris from school and now they were going to spend the afternoon at Abuela's. It was Friday, so Chris would go to sleep there and Eddie would pick him up the next day. Everything had been very well planned by him. Eddie had convinced Buck to spend the day with his son (not that it was a problem since Buck loved being able to spend time with the kid), so he could prepare for what he was planning to do from the time he woke up. He had woken up that morning convinced of something, he would tell Buck everything he was feeling. Eddie was more than ready to declare himself to his best friend, to tell him how much he was in love with him, how much he wanted to be with him every moment. Talks with Karen and visits to Frank helped him to take that courage and get on with it. Of course he knew Buck felt the same way about him, Eddie could see how his friend was looking at him, with that sparkle in his eyes when he looked at Buck. And of course he knew there was a chance that everything could go wrong in the end, but Eddie was tired of being in the comfort zone and waiting for something that was more than notorious that had to happen, he had to be with Buck and that was more than a fact for him.

Eddie rolled his eyes and gently pushed Buck out the door with Chris by his side, “I already said Buck, I have a few things to work out. Even tell Abuela that I will make up for it ”.

“You know that I will steal her from you at any moment, right?" Buck hummed as he headed for Eddie's car.

Eddie had lent him his car, since Buck's own car had been destroyed in the accident.

“Cállate” He grunted.

"For you too" Buck winked after he helped put Chris in the back seat and go around to get in the car.

"Idiot, you don't even know what I said" Eddie stood with his arms crossed by the car watching his boys go for a fun day together.

"See you later, Eds" Buck smiled at him.

That damn smile that made his whole body tingle with excitement. He didn't really know how Buck managed to do this to him, but he didn't care at all. It felt good and Eddie loved it.

He returned the smile and went to say goodbye to his son, “Remember what we talked about, okay? No messing around at Abuela's house and anything, just call me”.

"Ok daddy, I love you" Chris wrapped his arms around his dad as he always did and that was so comforting for Eddie. He felt like his whole world was there around them, and in fact it was.

  
"I love you too, kid".

  
As soon as they left, Eddie ran into the house and wrote down what he would need to buy for the dinner he was going to prepare for him and Buck. Of course, he knew the food would not be as good as his friend's since he was a kitchen disaster, but at least he would try. As long as he didn't set the house on fire, Eddie was willing to cook for Buck and do his best. He was so eager to declare himself to his best friend. 

Buck would be gone in a few days and Eddie wanted to do it while he was at his house. They had had a great time together, the three of them. And nothing better than ending with a golden key and a declaration of love, right?

  
It wasn't long before he went to a market near his home and bought the ingredients for dinner. Eddie took advantage and bought a wine. He didn't know what dinner would be like, but it wouldn't be a romantic dinner without good wine. Just thinking that it was really happening and that he was taking that step and was about to make a romantic dinner for his best friend, was a little scary and gave a little shiver. Eddie had never been the type of person to do that kind of thing to anyone, not even with Shannon. The only time he did something like that was when he took her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and told her he wanted her back and in the end it ended up being a disaster, but he was never the romantic type. He was so afraid of ruining everything. This dinner had to be perfect and the way Buck deserved it.

 _Mierda_ , Eddie was so nervous.

  
As soon as he got home, he took all the products out of the bags and went to take a very hot shower. When the shower was over, Eddie began preparations. He was going to make one of the recipes that Abuela had taught him, Pozole. It was one of the Mexican recipes he liked best and he wanted to impress Buck, so why not try it? The most that could happen was that he set the whole house on fire. So, for that not to happen, he researched some videos on youtube and started the preparations. It would take Buck an hour or so to get home, so it would be all over before he arrived. Eddie went to the living room and put on some music to listen to while cooking, he ended up catching this craze with his best friend. Buck loved to listen to music whenever he was doing something. Whether he was coming home by car after a tiring day at work or cooking the recipes Bob taught him. Buck really had music in almost 100% of his daily life and Eddie ended up getting hooked too. It helped him calm down from time to time, so he put on a playlist that his friend usually listened to and then went back to the kitchen to start preparations.

“... _. Oh, and I found love where it wasn't supposed to be_ _  
Right in front of me, talk some sense to me  
And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be  
Right in front of me, talk some sense to me”_

The music echoed from the living room as Eddie cut the onions and the lyrics reminded him of Buck and the day they met. When Eddie thought his friend was acting like an asshole, but deep down he knew he was a good person. He never imagined that he would fall in love with the blond, but he always knew that Buck was the kind of person he wanted in his life. Someone who was always by your side in good times and especially in bad times. Eddie tried his hardest to suppress his feelings for Buck, but now here he was preparing a romantic dinner for him, and Eddie was really happy that he no longer had to fight his desire. He was happy to finally show his feelings to someone.  
The meal was ready and the table was set with the wine and glasses, when Eddie heard a knock at the door, “Buck? " He thought. But his friend had the key, so there was no reason for him to knock on the door. He was not waiting for anyone, but he still went there to check who it was.

"Hi, Eddie" Flores greeted him when he opened the door.

  
Eddie frowned a little confused. What the hell was she doing there? “Um, hi? ”.

  
"I'm sorry I showed up like this without warning, but I was walking down the block and so I decided to come and see you" It was more than remarkable how embarrassed she was.

Eddie was reluctant for a few seconds, but politely invited her in. Damn, Buck would be here any minute and he didn't want the dinner surprise to come with bonus Ana Flores.

“Okay, so…how have you been? ”Eddie accompanied her to the couch and sat down next to her.

He was so uncomfortable. Not that he didn't like her or anything, but after the flirtations that happened between them and after he just dismissed her politely, it was a little uncomfortable that they were in such a quiet environment and just the two of them. Eddie was never the type to deceive anyone and deep down he knew that the two of them would never work anyway. She was a good person, but she was not the one he wanted. He wanted Buck.

  
"I'm fine. I miss your visits at school. Lately I've only seen Carla and now your friend Buck, taking and picking up Chris. By the way, Buck is a great person ”.

  
"Yeah, I've been a little busy at work and as my friend has been here at home, he offered to help take Christopher to school" Eddie scratched the back of his neck.  
He had even placed Buck's number as one of the emergency numbers in case Chris ever needed it. Eddie knew it was a step of confidence, but he trusted Buck more than anyone.  
  


"I noticed" Flores said gently as she gently placed her hand on Eddie's thigh. “Well, I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime, I don't know. We could have dinner at some restaurant, what do you think?”.

Eddie couldn't help but his cheeks burned and the discomfort emanating from his body was real, "Yeah, uh, I...so".

  
He didn't even have time to answer, before Flores came over and kissed him. Eddie walked away at the same moment, but it was all at the same time and so fast that Eddie couldn't even hear the door. And as soon as he stepped back from the kiss, he found a bewildered Buck standing by the door. He didn't think twice about getting up and composing himself.

  
"Hey, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something" Eddie could hear the sadness in the blonde's voice. “Eddie, you could have said you were having a visit. I would have come later ”.

“Hey, you're not interrupting anything. Flores was already leaving" Eddie said nervously looking at the woman and his friend.

Damn, he had fucked up. Flores timidly greeted Buck and the boy returned with a fake smile.

  
“Don't worry, I'm already leaving, I just came to get some of my stuffs and go to my apartment. I need to solve some things there ”

Eddie knew very well that his friend was lying, but even before he argued or said anything, Buck disappeared into the room and returned minutes later with his suitcase in hand and a backpack on his back.

  
"Thanks for the stay, Diaz" Buck said dryly without even looking at him before disappearing out the door and leaving Eddie there with guilt and a huge pain in his chest.

  
Flores left a few minutes later, apologizing for the kiss and everything that had happened. Eddie just said it was okay and that he just didn't want to have anything with anyone at the moment. He might be in the shit, but his education would always come first, and it was spiteful to treat a woman in a bad way. As much as he wanted nothing with her, he just said it in a kind way and that she understood.

Eddie spent the rest of the night sitting at the table that he had arranged so lovingly. How did he get to fuck everything in a few minutes? Yes, he knew that Flores hadn't done it wrong, but he ended up making the person he wanted so badly to leave. Eddie opened the wine and took a few sips, the liquid ripping down his throat. A form of punishment for ending the perfect night he had planned for Buck and him.

*******

Buck arrived at his apartment completely without structures. For a moment he really thought Eddie was liking him, that Eddie was also in love with him, but that night only made him prove otherwise. Eddie was just being a good friend and nothing more and maybe feeling a little guilty about the accident and that was why he was treating him so well and with such affection. Buck was feeling so bad about finding that he finally found someone who really liked him and didn't want to play with his feelings. His heart had been broken into pieces. He was completely in love with Eddie and now he didn't know what to do, let alone what their friendship would be like from now on. Of course this time he deluded himself as Eddie had made it very clear after their kiss, that he wanted nothing more than the friendship they had. But Buck really thought Eddie was in love with him and it hurt like he had a knife engraved in his chest and his whole body hurt. He didn't want to cry, nor even could if he wanted to. The fatigue was so great that Buck took a shower and asked for something to eat for the delivery and then threw himself on the bed in the hope that his fatigue would consume him and his head could finally stop bursting with thoughts of what he had seen. He had seen Eddie and Chris's teacher kissing. Of course, he knew that Eddie had already flirted with her some time ago and he even joked about it while they were on a Valentine's Day call where a woman was stuck in the window, but he thought it was just that, just flirtations. Eddie had never commented about her again, so he thought she was no longer an option, but that night only served to prove otherwise. Buck wanted nothing else at that moment, except to sleep and make that feeling of anguish go away. Tomorrow would be another day and he needed to be in good mental health, because in two days he would be back at the station. And he wanted to be more than 100% fine or Bob would push him away again and that was not an option.

The next day Hen called and invited him to their favorite bar, where they always went on weekends. Where the staff at 118 gathered for a relaxed evening with no call ahead. Buck only accepted the invitation, as he knew Eddie would not go since he had promised to do a movie session with Chris. Buck didn't want to see him, at least not now, not after what happened the night before. It was okay that he would not drink any alcohol, as he was still taking some medicine, but he was looking forward to spending time with his friends and his sister.

He spent the rest of the day tidying up his apartment (which by the way was a mess) and tried his best to distract his mind and not think too much about the situation with Eddie. He was still very hurt and his chest still hurt just from remembering what happened, but Buck wasn't going to let it consume him. He was maturing little by little and was learning to deal with his emotions and frustrations. Of course, it was very disappointing when you were in love with someone and that feeling is not reciprocated, but in a way Buck was already used to it. All of their relationships had been a disaster and deep down as much as he wanted so much, he felt he would never have anything with Eddie. Buck loved the bond of friendship he had with his best friend, but after falling in love with him, Buck feared that bond would somehow break. Fuck, he was so devastated with everything.

When night came, Buck thanked him for finally getting the whole apartment tidied up and then he ran to the bathroom to shower and get ready and go to meet his friends. Hen arranged for everyone to be there at eight, so Buck still had a few minutes to spare. When he finished getting ready, he checked that everything was ok and when he went to the mirror to see how it was, there was a memory in his head. The day of the accident when he was all happy to be going to the Diaz house and unfortunately the night ended with a tragedy that resulted in some superficial injuries and a concussion. Buck was really hoping this time would be a good night and he could enjoy it with his friends. He wished he could forget about problems and Eddie for at least a few hours. It wasn't too much to ask, right?

It didn't take long for the uber to arrive at the bar. Luckily he was one of the first to arrive. Just behind came Karen and Hen who gave him a very tight hug and said she was missing him. Then Chimney and Maddie showed up with Albert. The sister wasted no time in going to hug him too. Everyone was very happy that he was there and finally could spend time together. When they started ordering their drinks, Bob and Athena appeared.

“Cap. I missed you" Buck jumped up and went to greet them both. "And of course, you too Athena".

"So do we, Buck" Athena replied.

"No more accidents, huh" Bob joked. “It's good to see you, too, boy. And it is good to see that you are well ”.

"This time I won't sue anyone, I promise" Buck joked, but said sincerely.

“Thank God, no one could take it anymore to see you and Eddie fighting again. The station looks like a horror movie" Chimney shrugged as he took a sip of his beer.

  
"Speaking of him, look who's coming over there" Hen pointed to the bar's entrance and everyone turned to see Eddie coming and going towards them.

_Damn what he's doing here, Buck thought._

Eddie greeted everyone when he arrived, lingering his gaze on Buck for a few seconds who just nodded and then went to get him a drink. The bar was not so crowded, but the conversations at the tables were very loud. Buck was not drinking any alcohol, so he decided to spend the night in the soda.

  
"Buck, I was asking Eddie, but he didn't want to answer me" Chimney caught his eye when he returned to the table. “But tell me, did he treat you well when you were staying at his house? The look of mischief on Chim's face was clear, but Buck was out of energy for his games.

"Yes," was all he answered.

  
Everyone could see the heavy weather that was hovering until Hen cleared his throat and began to tell Buck what the days at the station had been like without him. It helped to take that tension out of the air and relax everyone. Every minute someone changed the subject and started talking about random things. Apart from him and Maddie (who was pregnant), they all looked like they were already drunk. Eddie was so drunk that he laughed at anything, even when it wasn't funny, and from time to time, Buck caught the boy staring at him, but he just tried to ignore it. He didn't want to have to deal with it at that point. He had taken the night off to have fun with friends and not have to deal with this situation. So he just forced himself to ignore Eddie and have a good laugh with Maddie's kicking Chim from time to time.

“Hey Buckaroo, aren't you going to defend me from her?" Chimney asked forcing a face of suffering.

  
“I'm out, my friend. I don't even get involved in that" He shrugged and threw both hands in the air in surrender.  
Maddie laughed and sent a kiss to her brother, “You were always very hopeful Buck. Remember when..."

  
Buck got up from the table on the same shelf and interrupted his sister, “Nah ah, I'm leaving. I go to the bathroom, I don't want to hear my stories from the past ” He spoke playfully and headed for the men's room.

When he was washing his hand, he felt someone standing behind him. And when he raised his head to look in the mirror, he saw Eddie behind him with an expression of sadness in his eyes. He was very drunk and could barely stand.

  
“Buck, Buck forgives me. I am... I... I am a complete asshole" Eddie staggered a little and without even Buck waiting, Eddie pulled him in for a kiss.

  
The kiss was awkward and quick, “Eddie, sto... stop! ” Buck pushed him away and almost knocked him to the floor. He wasn't believing that Eddie was such an asshole at that point, playing with his feelings that way. He knew Buck's story more than anyone and knew from everything he went through and how much he still suffered from the shit that was his old relationships and it was so wrong he is doing it. He was so angry, that if his friend wasn't drunk, he would punch him in the face. Buck wanted to run away and go home, but he liked Eddie too much just to leave him there and ignore his condition. Because even if he wanted to kill him right now, he wouldn't be able to do that, so what he did was he pulled Eddie by the arm and led him to the entrance to the bar. Eddie mumbled something, but Buck ignored him and went over to his friends to say goodbye to them. He forced a smile and explained that he was going to take Eddie home, as he had extrapolated in the drink. He seemed to convince everyone, because nobody questioned or asked any questions. While Buck took Eddie to his car, he tried to hug him and mumbled nonsense. Buck just ignored him and put him in the passenger seat, pushing him away when he strapped Eddie on and the guy tried to kiss him again.

"Eddie stop it or I swear to God I'm going to punch you" Buck shouted.

  
He needed to control himself. His anger and hurt was clear, but he needed to compose himself until he got home. It wouldn't be worth blowing up with Eddie under these circumstances, the next day he wouldn't remember anything.

  
Eddie sank into the passenger seat and started to cry softly as he looked out the window. Buck did what he was doing all night, ignored him. When they arrived at Eddie's house, he helped him out of the car and took him to his bed. He could be the most angry in the world, but Eddie was still his friend and he would do the same if it was the other way around. So Buck helped him take off his shoes and then helped him lie down on the bed.

  
As he was leaving, Eddie grabbed him by the wrist, “Please… please stay. Stay with me, Buck. I'm so sorry" He said in a sleepy voice.

  
Buck pulled his arm back and headed for the door, stopping right at the entrance, “I'll be on the couch. If you need me, just call me ” He replied sharply.

  
As much as he had a little fun with his friends, the end of his night turned out to be a total disaster. He never imagined that Eddie would act that way. Buck had never seen him get drunk that way. And he took advantage of the situation to fuck even more with Buck's feelings. And just thinking about it left him with hatred and an immense sense of insignificance and sadness. His chest hurt and he just wanted that night to end soon. He then threw himself on the couch, not caring at all that it was uncomfortable to sleep. All Buck wanted to do was rest for at least a few hours and then he would go home early in the morning. After a few minutes he closed his eyes and ended up falling asleep in tears.


	8. Please, forgive me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, first i would like to apologize for missing, but i was too busy and i ended up not having time to write the chapters. Anyway, I can guarantee that the next chapters will not take long, as I am already writing the last one. Yes, the story is coming to an end, but there are still some things to happen, so I hope you enjoy reading.
> 
> And thank you so much for following this story, I am very grateful for that!!!
> 
> See you guys soon <3

Eddie woke up with his head pounding. He had never drank so much alcohol in his life and was convinced it would never happen again. In addition to the moral hangover, the feeling of guilt consumed him the same time he got out of bed and went to the living room in the hope of finding Buck still asleep, but the boy was no longer there and that only made Eddie's heart squeeze.

He had screwed it up in a way that even he didn't think was possible. Eddie was absolutely sure that Buck would never want to see his face again. In addition to missing out on the chance of finally declaring himself to Buck and saying how much he was in love with his friend, it was very likely that he had also lost the friendship they had and that Eddie valued it so much. And it just made him feel like a shit. He had managed to hurt Buck in every way possible. Buck, who was one of the people he loved and cared about in life after Christopher. And now Eddie really didn't know what it was going to be like from that moment on.

While feeling guilty, Eddie went to get ready to pick up Chris at Abuela's. It was Sunday and he was off duty so he would spend the rest of the day at his grandmother's house in an attempt to distract his mind a little or he would go crazy because his head was racing. Not to mention the headache from the hangover.

Before leaving the house, Eddie took an aspirin while drinking a glass of water and then sent the thirtieth message to Buck, "Please, forgive me", and being more than ignored. As he really should be, he knew that.

When he arrived at Abuela's, she was already waiting for him at the door with a huge smile on her face that soon turned into an expression of concern “Eddito, are you okay? You look awful ”. Abuela put her hand on Eddie's forehead to take his temperature and see if he had a fever.  
"Thanks Abuela" Eddie forced a smile as he hugged her and greeted her as he always did when he saw her. Kissing your forehead and asking for the blessing. It was a family tradition that he did not pass on with Chris, but Abuela insisted that the little one ask for her blessing whenever he saw her. “And don't worry, I'm fine. I just have a little bit of a hangover”Eddie replied, entering the house and looking for his son.

“Who were you with to have drunk that much? I bet that you were with Buck” She asked him as she led him over to Chris.

Eddie blushed at the comment immediately and hearing Buck's name made his heart squeeze a little. He was devastated by everything that happened between them and he just wanted his friend there with him at that moment so he could say everything he felt and explain to him that it was all just a misunderstanding. "He was also with me, but we were with our friends at the station to celebrate his return to 118".

His abuela seems to have noticed the sadness in his voice, because she immediately gave him a questioning look “What's wrong, _nieto_? You look so sad" She rubbed his shoulders in a way to comfort him with whatever was bothering him.

Eddie opened his mouth to speak, but Chris appeared at the exact moment with a huge smile on his face, "Daddy!", He went towards his father with an animation that Eddie really wanted to have. The boy looked around and his smile immediately faded, "Where's Buck?"

“He had to go home and get some things done to get back to work tomorrow morning. But as soon as I can, I ask him to come and visit us” Eddie's heart squeezed even more and he had to restrain himself from crying in front of his son and his abuela.

_Damn! He was hating himself so much at that moment._

"Do you promise?", Chris asked a little sadly.

"Yes, I promise" Eddie kissed the kid on the head and ruffled his hair as he always did while forcing a miserable smile on his face.

Chris seemed satisfied with his father's promise and then went back to the couch he had come from and turned his attention to the cartoon that was playing on TV. Eddie didn't know what he was going to do when his son missed Buck for the next few days. He didn't know if his friend was going to walk away from his son either. Eddie knew that Buck loved his son as if he were his and he knew that if Buck had to walk away from the kid it would be the end for him. And with that he just felt even more like shit, because in the end it would be his fault too. He didn't really know what was going to happen and to make matters worse, Buck wasn't answering either his calls or his text messages, which just proved that the boy didn't want to know a bit about his existence.

Abuela took him out of his thoughts and invited him to accompany her to the kitchen “ _Nieto_ , tell me, what's going on? Something is bothering you, right?” She asked as she took some ingredients from the cupboard to make a cake for them.

Eddie sat down at the table and put both hands on his face and while sighing deeply making his head throb a little, "Oh Abuela, I fucked up".

"Language!" she warned him.

“ _Perdón_. As I was saying. I blew it" Eddie sighed again and faced his abuela as she turned her attention to him.

"What do you mean with that?" She looked at him confused with whatever he was talking about.

"Abuela, I'm in love with Buck" Eddie confessed with a wistful look. It was a relief to say it out loud, especially to someone he was sure would support him and would not waste time judging him. Eddie always knew that his abuela loved Buck and had him as part of the family. She always showed it more than once, so it would never be a problem for him.

“Oh Eddie, I always knew that. The way you look at each other, how you treat each other. Just a fool not to see how much you love each other”, she smiled warmly at him.

"And are you okay with that?" Eddie asked even though he already knew the answer.

“Of course, why not? You guys make a beautiful couple and Buck makes you so happy and not only you but Chris. All I have to do is thank god for you meeting someone as special as Buck. That boy is an angel” Eddie didn't even realize he was crying until his grandmother came to him and hugged him, “Why are you crying, _nieto_?”.

He hurried to dry his tears, but willingly accepted his abuela's hug. Eddie was never one to show his feelings and vulnerability like that, even with her, but he was so broken inside for hurting Buck that he was no longer able to control his emotions. Besides, it was nice to have someone to comfort him no matter how wrong he was in the story, but he was so broken at the moment that being able to have her comfort was all he needed “I lost him Abuela. I lost Buck".

"What are you saying Eddito?" She looked at him confused, not knowing where his grandson was going with this.

And then Eddie told her everything that happened. From when he felt ready and convinced to declare himself to Buck, about the romantic dinner and the disaster it was, until last night when it was all gone down for good.

She hugged him again, comforting in the best possible way “All is not lost, dear nieto. That boy loves you so much and I know that very well. Don't give up on him, he would never give up on you”, she warned him with conviction in every word.

Those words were like a light at the end of the tunnel for Eddie, a way for him to have a little hope that all was not lost. That he might still have a chance to fix things "And how am I going to do that?"

“Open your heart to him, tell him how you feel and be totally honest. Use the words to your advantage", she winked and turned her attention to the cake that was now almost ready to go in the oven.

Eddie knew that he was a real disaster with words and he didn't know how to express what he felt, but he had worked hard on it. His sessions with Frank helped him a lot in that and he was more than ready to put this into practice, "Thanks, Abuela. For everything".

“You're welcome, _nieto_. Just promise me that you'll go after Buck tomorrow and tell him how much you love him", she pointed the wooden spoon at him.

"I promise" Eddie threw his hands up in surrender and laughed at the scene.

*******

As usual, Eddie arrived earlier than Buck at the station. Everything was calm on the spot. Bob preparing breakfast, Chimney reading the day's newspaper and Hen gossiping on twitter. She loved to do this before starting a shift. She said she was supposed to stay tuned about everything that was going on, some important media issues or even gossip about celebrities. Eddie was never much of a social media user, so he didn't understand anything about it, but he enjoyed having everyone distracted. So no one would ask about what had happened that night at the bar and he was really asking God that Buck hadn't said anything to Hen since they were close. Okay, he was a total asshole and deserved all kinds of punishment, but he wanted to deal with it just between them. Eddie didn't want everyone at 118 to know about him being in love with his best friend, let alone how he managed to fuck it up.

When Buck arrived, he didn't look in Eddie's direction for a second. He didn't even bother to say hello. It broke Eddie into a thousand pieces inside. He knew he deserved it, but it was painful to see. The others seemed to notice the heavy weather in the air, as everyone looked between Buck and Eddie, but no one dared to say a word.

Buck didn't sit next to Eddie as usual. He sat as far away from him as possible, "Hen, can you pass me the sugar?" He asked as he stretched out on the table.

"Ask Eddie. He's closer", she pointed to the boy and before Buck even opened his mouth to say something, Eddie took the sugar and handed it to his friend receiving an almost inaudible "Thank you".

"Is everything okay with you guys?" Bob asked suspiciously. He looked between the two boys and frowned, waiting for an answer.

Buck nodded barely at his captain, while Eddie swallowed. Buck looked horrible as if he hadn't slept well and his mood was even worse. He, who was always smiling or cheering everyone up, was now more wilted than a dead flower.

Bob didn't seem to be convinced with the answer, but said nothing more. Hen and Chim communicated by looking and Eddie knew they knew something was wrong between Buck and him, and as he knew his friends it wouldn't be long before one of them went to ask what was going on when they had the chance.

The rest of the day was exhausting. The calls were being heavy and one worse than the other. Fires in an administrative building and things like that. Buck only spoke to Eddie as necessary when Bob asked for something for both of them, but did not maintain eye contact for long. It was destroying Eddie in every way possible and he just wanted it to end or at least he had a chance to speak to Buck.

When they were returning from the last call of the day, the rain started to fall hard. Hen and Chim ran to take a shower and change clothes as soon as they arrived at the station, as they were all soaked. "Hey boys, I need one of you to check that everything is ok outside before we leave" Bob asked, addressing Buck and Eddie.

"I'm going, cap." It was Buck who said, already walking away even before the captain answered. Bob then shrugged and went to the locker room.

Eddie then went after Buck. He was no longer putting up with all the heavy weather that was between them, it was eating away at him and suffocating him. When he arrived outside, Buck was crouched in the rain picking up some irons that were on the ground.

"Hey Buck!" Eddie shouted at the sound of the rain. The boy raised his head, but did not respond "I need to talk to you" Eddie tried to get closer, but Buck got up and took a step back.

“No, you don't have to. I have nothing to talk to you and excuse me, but it is raining a lot and if I stay too long in this rain I will end up catching a cold” Buck passed Eddie and was already walking towards the entrance to the station.

“I was an asshole and fucked up. I know that” Eddie started.

“And what do you want me to do? Forgive you so that you feel better and live peacefully? Eddie, regardless of anything I'm your friend, I never thought you were going to play with my feelings that way" Buck sniffed a little and Eddie could feel the sadness ingrained in every word "One day you were kissing with Chris's teacher and on the other you get completely drunk and you think to have the right to play with my feelings. That was so unfair, because you knew I was liking you" Buck stammered slightly as he spoke and Eddie couldn't see because of the rain, but from the boy's voice he seemed to be crying.

“Buck just listen to me, please” Eddie sighed deeply and tried to reach his friend in a failed attempt to try to hold his hand “I never kissed Ana. She tried to kiss me and I refused and it was just when you arrived . She appeared there by surprise and I didn't know how to tell her that I didn't want anything with her, but in the end I ended up saying it in a polite way. Anyway, nothing happened that you thought happened, it was all a communication error and I tried to explain it to you that day, but you left without letting me explain and then you started to ignore me” Buck kept silent as he sniffed and looked at Eddie without expression. “I had made you dinner before she arrived and ended it all. You were the one I was waiting for, Buck. Not her. And when you started to ignore me it broke my heart and there I realized I had fucked up and when Hen invited me to the bar, I saw an opportunity to see you and try to explain what had happened, but in the end it got out of hand, I drank too much and it resulted on that” Eddie closed his eyes and sighed deeply. The rain had not yet stopped and at that moment they were more than drenched. “Nothing justifies me being a complete asshole with you and I'm really sorry for everything. I care a lot about you, Buck. And God knows how sorry I am for hurting you” This time Eddie walked over and Buck didn't walk away. “I just want you, Buck, it's just you. Damn, I'm so in love with you that it hurts and just the idea of losing you makes me crazy” Eddie took Buck's hand and this time the boy allowed it while his breathing quickened a little. "I love you, Evan".

Buck didn't think twice about narrowing the space between them and pulling Eddie in for a kiss. A wet and intense kiss. That was proof of how much they were hopelessly in love with each other and when they wanted each other. The kiss lasted a while until they had to separate to take a breath and this time Eddie pulled Buck back into the kiss.

"I love you too, you idiot" Buck said at last, when he pulled back a little and rested his forehead on Eddie's. "For a second I wanted to hate you, I swear I tried, but I had to be in love with you".

Eddie laughed at the younger boy's grimace and shrugged, "What can i do if my charm draws attention?"

"Shut up or I'll kick your balls" Buck joked. "And let's get out of this, if not, tomorrow we will have a big cold" He pulled Eddie and led him into the station.

They ran to the locker room to take a shower and change clothes and put on wet clothes to wash. When they were done, they said goodbye to their friends and received a “Do we need to know what happened between you guys?” Hen asked and they answered "no" and then they all shrugged and left.

When they arrived outside the station, the rain had stopped. It was just drizzling and it was a little cold. Eddie pressed Buck over his truck and kissed him longingly. It felt so good to finally be able to do this without being afraid of what might happen. And even more so to know that Buck was in love with him too "For a second I thought I lost you" Eddie said, stepping back just to face Buck.

Buck looked away for a few seconds and swallowed. “I thought so, too. I couldn't bear to live without you and Chris. You both are everything to me, Eds” Buck admitted.

"And you are everything to us" Eddie kissed the younger man's forehead and hugged him tenderly. They stayed that way for a while, enjoying each other's warmth and finally being able to show their love for each other.

Eddie didn't know what his future would be like, but one thing he was more than convinced of is that he and Buck were in love with each other and they would move heaven and earth so that their love would prevail.


	9. I'm thankful for having you in my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost at the end and I would like to thank everyone who is following this story. It is very gratifying to see.
> 
> So, I hope you all enjoy the holiday with your family and friends and great Thanksgiving to all of you!!!

It had been two months since Buck and Eddie started dating. For now, no one knew anything. It was a secret and hidden relationship. Not that they were ashamed or anything, but they wanted to keep it just for the two of them at least for now. They decided that they would tell Chris first, and Buck knew that Eddie was still a little cautious about it. Of course Chris loved Buck and everything, but they were afraid of what the kid's reaction would be. Buck couldn't stand the thought of Chris rejecting him as his father's boyfriend. Just thinking about that possibility made your head hurt a little. So they decided that they would first tell Chris and on the Thanksgiving day that, by the way, it would be at the Nash-Grant house and everyone would be together, they would take the time to tell everyone.

Nothing had changed in their daily lives. Especially because they were in a relationship long before they were dating and didn't even know it. The only thing that changed was that now they could kiss and make out without fear of the consequences. Both kept everything very professional at the station. Avoiding as much physical contact with each other, as much as it was a little difficult to see an Eddie in tight pants that greatly valued his ass and being unable to do anything about it. But they made up for it in Buck's apartment, since that was where they could taste each other's presence. It was their love nest. Where they could leave all fear and anguish outside and enjoy the desire and pleasure they both felt for each other. Everything was just perfect. They fit together so well that it was as if they were made for each other. Sex was so different with Eddie. Yes, Buck had a lot of experiences during his life and during his _Buck 1.0_ phase, but nothing could compare to the pleasure he felt in making love with Eddie. It was not just a carnal desire without any feeling as it was with others. It was a consequence of their love for each other. A vulnerability that they had never experienced before. Buck had never seen that side of Eddie. To be able to wake up in the morning with his boyfriend making coffee and bringing breakfast in bed. It was so nice to have a romantic and caring Eddie by his side and he could have that for the rest of his life and he would never complain.

One night while Buck was drying dinner dishes and Eddie was helping him, they decided it was time to tell Chris about their relationship, “Hey Chris. Buck and I would like to tell you something” Eddie called the son who was in the living room watching the Disney movie, Lion King, which was one of his favorites since he was passionate about animals.

Chris then paused the movie and jumped off the couch, "I'm going, daddy" He arrived in the kitchen all excited and with an angelic smile on his face, making Buck's heart almost burst with love. "What do you guys have to tell me?" Chris then sat down at the table and waited for the two older men to speak what was so important.

Eddie looked nervously at Buck who just gave him a reassuring look. He wanted to tell his boyfriend that it was okay, but even he didn't know if it was going to be okay, so he couldn't judge Eddie. "So. Your father and I...” Buck stammered and ended up failing to finish the sentence. Why was it so hard? It was Chris. In fact, maybe that's why it was so difficult, because the kid's opinion was very important for both of them and for the future of their relationship.

“ _Mi hijo_. What Buck is trying to say...” Eddie paused and ran a hand through his hair. Buck realized that he was a little nervous too, about the situation. Eddie kneeled in front of his son and held his hand. "First of all, I want you to know that I love your mom and that will never change."

"And regardless of anything, she will never be replaced" Buck added, going to join the two and placing his hand on Eddie's shoulder, who gave him a look of thanks.  
"Anyway, what we're trying to tell you is that Buck and I are in love with each other and we're dating."

Chris looked from Eddie to Buck with a knowing look, examining the two. "What do you have to say about that, Superman?" Buck asked a little nervously at what the kid's response would be.

"I already knew that", the kid replied proudly. He looked so adult sometimes to an eleven-year-old and Buck was surprised about that.

"How did you know that if we didn't even tell you anything?" Eddie asked, frowning in confusion.

Buck suppressed a laugh, as the confused expression on his boyfriend's face was very funny. He himself was confused about all that. How did Chris know about their dating if they hadn't commented on it.

“I saw you guys kissing on the couch one night when I was going to the kitchen to drink water. And _EW_! ”, Chris made a face. "Why you adults kiss? That's disgusting."

The laugh Buck was holding, turned out to be a loud laugh. He couldn't take it. Even Eddie had to sit on the floor to laugh at the situation. Chris's reaction turned out to be the most hilarious ever, and both Buck and Eddie were more than relieved about all that.

"So, it means that the little one is running out of bed at night, right" Eddie started tickling his son and the kid laughed out loud asking his father to stop.

It was a beautiful sight to see and Buck couldn't be more thankful for having both of them in his life. And think that a few months ago he had been suffering thinking that he had lost all this and now here he was, enjoying such a domestic moment with his two favorite boys. “So, Chris. What do you think about your dad and I being dating?”.

Chris and Eddie looked at Buck at the same moment and then Eddie looked at his son who now had a playful smile on his face, "Does this mean that you will spend more time with us?", the kid asked innocently.

"Yes, absolutely" Buck replied and looked at Eddie with a kind of question about the situation with his eyes and receiving a nod.

"So, yes. I'm more than happy that you're dating my dad" Chris smiled widely and Buck went over to him and gave him a very warm and tight hug. “Buck, since you're dating my dad. You mean that now you're my dad too?” The question made Eddie choke a little while he got up and went to clean the rest of the washed dishes.

Buck's heart was racing as he spoke, “Not yet, legally. I would have to be married to your father and have to adopt you, but if you feel comfortable calling me a father but, I will feel more than happy with that” Buck replied almost crying with happiness.

A lump had formed in his throat and he found it difficult to breathe. It had taken him by surprise. The idea of marrying Eddie and adopting Chris was so genuine that Buck didn't know if he deserved such happiness in his life. Eddie seemed to notice his reaction as he went over to him and put his hand on his shoulder, “One step at a time, _mi hijo_. Now, go to finish watching your movie while Buck and I are done here, okay?” When Chris disappeared from the kitchen, Eddie pulled Buck close to him and kissed his forehead, "Are you okay, baby?"

Buck smiled at him and placed a kiss on his lips, “Yes. He just took me by surprise. Not in a bad way", he answered sincerely.

"I know. But don't worry about it now. It's too much for you to process, let's enjoy our present” Eddie hugged him and put his boyfriend's head on his shoulder.

“But I want to, Eds. I want this for my future. I want you, I want Chris in my future. I know we've been dating for a few months, but ever since I realized I was in love with you, I've been convinced of that. That I want you and Chris not only in my present, but also in my future”. It was so nice to be able to say it out loud. For showing Eddie how much he loved him and how much he wanted him.

Eddie held his head in both hands and kissed him deeply. In a way that made all of Buck's body hair stand on end. "Me too, _mi amor_. I want you now and I want you forever. I couldn't be more than happy to have you in my and my son's life. From the beginning you gave us all your love without thinking twice and I couldn't be happier to have you here with us ”.

Buck sighed deeply and even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to hold back the tears that fell on his face. They were not tears of sadness, but of happiness. For finally finding the family he never had. Family he gradually built with Eddie long before they thought they were in love with each other. "If you were trying to calm me down from Chris's comment, you failed miserably" Buck smiled as he dried his tears.

Eddie helped him dry his tears and then put his forehead next to his boyfriend's, “Hey. Now it's me, you and Chris against the world. Nothing can hurt us”.

"I love you, Eds" Buck put his arms around his boyfriend's neck and stayed that way as long as the two remained in the same position.

"I love you too, baby" Eddie kissed him again. "But are you ready to tell our friends and family about us?"

"Not at all" Buck winced a little and they both laughed.

*******

"Are the pancakes good, Superman?" Buck asked Chris as he brought in some more of the kids favorite pancakes. He loved to cook for the Diaz boys. Not only because Eddie was a kitchen disaster, but also because he felt comfortable doing it. It was like he was taking care of his family, and in fact he was.

"Yes!" Chris exclaimed happily.

Eddie snorted from where he sat taking a few bites of his own pancake. “You know you don't have to try to win us over, right. You've achieved this a long time ago", he smiled at his boyfriend.

Buck rolled his eyes and snorted as well, “I'm not trying to impress you. I know very well that I already have this. I just like to feed you boys well", he winked.

Eddie narrowed his eyes and pretended an angry face "Are you trying to say that I cook poorly, Evan Buckley?"

Buck shrugged and turned his attention to his plate, "I don't need to say anything", he suppressed a laugh and Chris, who was following the entire conversation from his chair, did it for him. Laughing loudly and thrashing about in fun while releasing a “Daddy doesn't know how to cook”.

Eddie feigned a surprised face at the comment and then huffed, "I can't believe my boyfriend and son got together to plot against me."

In the end the three burst out laughing together and then went back to breakfast enjoying each other's company. As much as Buck already had that kind of moment while he was still just Eddie's friend, it was different now. He could feel it, he could feel it belonging to that place. It was crazy to think about it, but he was very happy to finally have it. It was something he always wanted to happen and finally he was having breakfast with his two boys who he loved so much.

The rest of the day they focused on buying some things to take from Nash-Grant's home for everyone to celebrate Thanksgiving together. Buck, with Eddie's help, decided he would take pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, and Eddie had bought some great French wine he had found in a cellar on the way home. He was excited to finally tell everyone about his relationship with Eddie, but at the same time he knew that his boyfriend was nervous about the idea. Eddie was always a reserved person and didn’t like to get much attention and Buck was sure that this announcement today would get everyone’s attention for them and he would need to be there if Eddie needed him, not that it was a sacrifice since for he was always good to be with Eddie. He was so in love with the boyfriend that it made all his veins burn just by hearing the boyfriend's name and the heat of his body next to his made him burn up completely. The feeling was surreal and good.

They ended up arriving late, a little because of the traffic. It was thanksgiving and everyone was going to celebrate with their families and a little because of Buck who took longer than necessary to get ready, finding an Eddie and a restless Chris on the couch.

Everyone was already there. Buck went straight to the kitchen, with Eddie close behind to deliver the dishes they had prepared together. "You boys are late" Athena protested as soon as she saw them.

"I'm sorry, the traffic was chaotic" Buck tried, but Eddie cleared his throat with an, "Liar," making Athena laugh while Buck elbowed him.

Athena showed them where to place the dishes and wine and then led them to the outside where everyone was chatting randomly and forming small groups in the middle of the place. Hen, Karen with Nia on her lap and Maddie chatted in a corner and Bob, Michael, his boyfriend and Chimney on the other side while the kids played back and forth in the middle of the space. Chris was already among them with a little car in hand and laughing widely with Harry and Denny. May and Albert were helping Athena prepare the table.

Buck and Eddie went to greet everyone, and Buck took the opportunity to give his sister a hug. She was already in the last months of pregnancy and her pregnant belly was huge. He was so excited to be an uncle. Maddie already knew the baby was a girl, but Chimney and she had not yet defined a name. Buck had made some suggestions, but Maddie rejected them all, on the grounds that he was not good at it.

"How nice to see my favorite brother", she joked.

“Maddie, you only have me as a brother. I won't do you any favors" Buck rolled his eyes and received a laugh from everyone, including Eddie who was behind him.

“You can't say no to a pregnant woman, Evan. That is the rule. Eddie put some judgment on your friend's head" Eddie smiled sheepishly as Buck looked back with a mischievous look on his face.

"Ok, what do you want, _mademoiselle_?" He bent down and made a gesture pretending to be a waiter waiting for the client to place his order.

“I just want a glass of water, Buck. Stop joking, I'm thirsty ” Buck raised his hands in defense of his sister's sudden attack. “Sorry, my mood is a little changed due to the pregnancy”, she smiled shyly.

Chimney, who was with the other boys, overheard the conversation and came to join them, “This is what happens to me every day, my friend. Get ready, cuz when you get a girl pregnant, you will experience it too" He whispered in Buck's ear, receiving a furious look from Maddie. Buck just shrugged as Eddie pulled him so they could get Maddie's order.

"Don't worry about Chim's comments, he sometimes crosses the line" Eddie said, putting his arm around his boyfriend. It was such an involuntary act that even Buck didn't notice and when he did, he snickered. He knew that when his boyfriend realize that, he would take it off on the same time. As much as it could be just two friends talking and exchanging affections with each other, Buck knew that Eddie was not ready yet for everyone to see that affectionate side of him.

“I am not concerned about that. I'm already used to Chim's comments" Buck stared at him and damn their faces were so close to each other and he just wanted to be able to kiss his boyfriend right there, but he contained himself with just a smile. Eddie was wonderfully beautiful in tight jeans that Buck loved, and a white T-shirt that marked his chest.

"What are you looking at?" Eddie asked with a doubt and curiosity in his eyes.

Buck came up to his ear and whispered, “I'm just admiring my boyfriend. And _wow_ , Eddie. You look so hot in those tight pants” Buck's look was wild and he was asking the gods not to be hard right there.

Eddie snorted and winked, "We'll have to work this out later."

Buck squeezed Eddie's arm tightly to control himself and cursed under his breath while Eddie laughed mockingly. Damn, that was a low blow. Eddie was a fucking bastard. "I'm going to make you pay for this."

Eddie's eyes lit up and Buck could see that the boyfriend was also controlling himself as much as possible. They had to stop it as soon as possible. "I'm looking forward to it." Eddie finally said.

"What are you two whispering about, huh?" Athena crossed her arms and faced the two who were walking towards her with Eddie still with his arm around Buck. Without even waiting for an answer, she clapped her hands and asked Eddie to get some things from the fridge to set the table. Buck went to get his sister's water and left his boyfriend there. Not before giving him a malicious wink and getting a roll of the older man's eyes.

A few minutes later, Athena called everyone to join the table and begin their ceremony. When everyone was already gathered, one by one he was speaking for what he was thankful for. With Chris saying he was thankful that Buck knew how to cook, making everyone at the table laugh and Eddie putting his hand on his face. "He's never going to get you out of this, Eds" Buck scoffed.

Buck was the last to speak. He then wasted no time, he knew exactly what he was thankful for, “I am thankful for have you all in my life. I am thankful that I am going to be an uncle soon and for seeing my sister happy and building a family. As much as we all had bad times this year, I am very thankful for the good times and especially, I am very thankful to be building a wonderful family with Chris and Eddie"

"What do you mean?" Maddie almost shouted from where she is sitting.

"We're dating" Eddie confessed. And to Buck's surprise he didn't seem the least bit nervous when he put his hand on his thigh and gave him a warm smile.

Everyone was gaping and confused, while the children clapped. The expressions were hilarious. Buck and Eddie were laughing at everyone, “Yes, that's right. We are dating. It's been two months. We didn't say anything before, because we wanted to surprise you all until Thanksgiving."

“How dare you hide it from me, Evan Buckley. I supported you since the beginning” Maddie protested and pretended to be hurt.

“Sorry, Maddie. I had to keep it a secret. If I told you, you would tell Chim and he would tell Hen that consequently she would tell Karen that she would tell Michael that he would tell Athena and finally Bob”, then, he cringed with everyone's eyes. Eddie was now holding his hand and petting it.

“Anyway. Congratulations, boys. I am very happy that you finely realized how much you love each other. It was tiring to see you both try to get away from it" Athena snorted.

Everyone congratulated them and said they were happy for their courtship. Even Maddie got up from the chair and hopped over to give them a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Never hide that kind of thing from me again, or I swear I'll kill you both" she warned, but with a smile on her face.

Bob, who was quiet until then, cleared his throat and said, “Well. I'm happy for you guys. I have been working with the two of you together for almost three years and I have been able to see up close how you have matured your relationship to reach this step that you are taking today. And I, not only as your captain, but also as a friend. I'm very happy for you two. And Buck, congratulations on the family you're building. You deserve all of this, son” Bob's eyes were shining and everyone could see how much he was holding on to keep from crying.

The same did not happen with the others, including Buck who was drying the tears that were falling. It was gratifying to receive that kind of approval from Bob. Buck saw him not only as a captain, but also as a father figure he never had. And being able to receive that kind of love was all he needed to feel more than happy. "Thanks, cap.", he said.

“Okay, okay! Enough dramatic moment. It is time to toast and celebrate for all the things we are thankful for and to let all the bad things outside", as soon as everyone helped themselves, Athena raised her glass, “To Buck and Eddie. May you be very happy, kids” Everyone then cheered them on and celebrated with enthusiasm.

They spent the rest of the night talking about random things and occasionally asking Buck and Eddie about things in their relationship like how each found out they were in love with each other and more intimate things that made Eddie blush and Buck refuse to reply, "The schedule does not allow this type of subject."

He then turned to Bob and asked, “Cap. We would like to know how our situation will be at the station. We will do whatever it takes, but I beg you not to separate us. I don't want to have to leave 118 and neither does Eddie. You guys are our family."

“Yes, cap. We will do whatever it takes, but don't move us around" Eddie said.

“Stay calm, boys. Nobody is going anywhere. During the week I will communicate to department so you can sign some papers, but nobody is going anywhere. Besides, just because you've been in a relationship for two months and working the same way as before, it shows how professional you both are" Buck and Eddie thanked Bob for that.

Buck couldn't ask for a better captain than his. Since he joined 118, Bob has always been by his side. As much as they went through some turbulence, in the end they ended up resolving themselves as a good family does.

When a certain hour came, everyone was organizing to leave. Maddie, Chim and Albert were the first. Maddie hugging her brother tightly and congratulating him again on dating, “Eddie, take care of my little brother, please. If he misbehaves, call me and I'll go and give him an earful", she said as she hugged Eddie.

“I'm not a baby, ok. And besides, we're still not living together, so relax" Buck scoffed and Eddie replied a " _Not yet_ ", making Buck's heart miss a few beats just with the idea of moving in with Eddie and Chris. That was all he ever wanted.

Then Hen and Karen said goodbye to everyone, dragging Denny and baby Nia with them. Then it was Michael's turn with his boyfriend. And finally Buck, Eddie and Chris. They helped Athena clean up the mess before they left and when they finished, they said goodbye and left.

"Dinner was great, right?" Buck commented, turning to Eddie and then to Chris who threw his hands up and said, "Best Thanksgiving ever!", Making the older two laugh.

“We make a great team, huh. The three of us" Eddie said with a smile that made Buck's heart jump with happiness and then he kissed him. Buck was longing for that kiss all night and was finally sating his will. It was so good to have Eddie and Chris in his life that he wanted to be able to take all three and create a bubble and live there forever, just the three of them. It was all that mattered to Buck, to have his two boys by his side.

"Could you two stop kissing and go home?" Chris commented and Buck snorted as Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Okay, zippy. Let's go” Buck started the car and then they drove home. The place that, although it was not yet officially his home, was where he felt at home and felt welcomed and belonged to something.


	10. Christmas Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!
> 
> Finally we come to the last chapter of this story. Yes, I decided to post the last chapter today, as it is my birthday and nothing better than finishing this fic on my birthday, right??  
> First of all, I would like to thank everyone who accompanied this fic so far. Thank you very much <3
> 
> I know it took me a long time to finish it and I apologize for that, but here I am with the last chapter and I hope you guys like it!!!
> 
> I intend to turn this fic into a series soon to be able to tell the rest of the story, so stay tuned!!!
> 
> Thank you so muuuuuuuuuuuuch <3
> 
> and Merry Christmas!!!

“Buck, dad. Can we take that tree over there? ”, Chris pointed to the largest tree that had in the place.

" _Mijo_ , it won't fit in our living room, but we can take this other one here", Eddie pointed to a tree that is a little smaller, but as beautiful as the one the kid wanted to take.

Buck who was beside them noticed the kid's frustration and knelt down so he could know what was going on, "Why are you looking like that, Superman. You didn't like that tree?"

Chris sighed deeply and looked at Buck and then at his father, “It's not about that. I wanted a bigger tree, so Santa would give me more gifts.

Eddie and Buck snorted in amusement, “This won't be a problem. Make sure you get lots of presents from Santa”,Buck commented, making the little one almost fall with his crutches with such happiness that he was.

“Now come on, we still have to buy the ornaments". Eddie called them both and led them over to an employee to file their order. They spent the previous morning decorating Buck's apartment. Eddie and Chris made sure to leave the living room with as many decorations as possible since Buck's apartment was not large and did not give a Christmas tree. They bought three large socks that belonged to each of them and they already contained some gifts. Chris's was almost overflowing. Eddie never cared about that kind of decorating the house for Christmas, but just seeing the happiness in his son's and boyfriend's eyes was more than gratifying, so he didn't think twice about helping them both when Buck and Chris started organizing everything to decorate the house and the apartment. They would all spend Christmas at the station as in the last year, so that they would be able to celebrate with all their friends and relatives gathered.

They spent the rest of the afternoon buying some ornaments and souvenirs that they would give to their friends. Before going home, they went to visit Santa Claus. Chris always asked his father to take him and just like the last time they were there, Buck would be there. The elf who attended them last time, recognized Buck from a distance and waved at him who returned with a wide smile on his face. When they got home, Chris was completely excited to start setting up the tree, but Eddie soon warned him “Chris, let's take a shower first and then we can start setting up”, with that Chris and Buck pouted getting a roll over Eddie's eyes, "Kids."

Buck went over to him and gave him a tender kiss. Chris as always pretended to be disgusted by the situation so he went straight to the bedroom. “How are you feeling, baby? You look so good and I'm happy to see you like that”.

Eddie rested his hands on his boyfriend's hips and he put his arms around Eddie's neck. “I am more than happy. Every moment I'm spending with you and Chris is like a dream and I don't want to wake up", he admitted as he pulled Buck close to him and they both rested their heads together.

“Eds, you are not dreaming. This is real. It's the three of us now until you get tired of me", Buck smiled sheepishly and Eddie pulled back a little to look at him with a serious, penetrating look.

"Never say that again. You are more than enough for me and I hope to be the same for you. You won't escape me easily, baby”, Eddie kissed him and this time it had more intensity and desire. He loved Buck so much and there was nothing in the world that would make that feeling go away. It was something permanent, like a tattoo marked on the skin, something for life. It might be crazy to think that, but Eddie wanted Buck forever in his life. He never loved anyone that much. He loved and always would love Shannon, but with Buck it was different. They connected and complemented each other in a surreal way and Eddie had never felt anything like that. From the beginning when he discovered that he was in love with his best friend, he was reluctant and tried to suppress that feeling, but it was something stronger than him, it was something he couldn't control and it reached a point that was no longer worth controlling. It was what he wanted, he couldn't say no to his heart. Not when Buck was at stake. And what impressed him most was the fact that he felt so good about opening up and showing himself vulnerable to Buck, something he never did with anyone, but with Buck he felt more than safe in showing his feelings, in being loving and to show how passionate he was.

“I had no intention of going anywhere. I just want to be here with you", Buck said at last, before Chris came into the living room and said he was ready for a shower.

He was a child who liked to be independent and learn to do things himself, but Chris knew that there were some things that would be a little more difficult for him to do alone because of his CP. Eddie had talked to him about it and he got it. Eddie loved his son more than anything and he liked the idea of Chris being able to have some independence and that's why he was always very sincere with his kid about everything. It was a way of preparing him for the world. Of course, Chris was still a child and still had a lot to have fun, play, enjoy, but Eddie always raised him in a way that he knew all the realities in the world.

After a few minutes, they were back clean and smelling. Buck got up from the couch where he was sitting and went towards them, "Come here, let me see if you guys are really smelling good", he imitated a dog sniffing while sniffing Eddie and Chris's neck, "Stop, Buck. You're tickling", Chris protested trying to protect his neck, but Buck started tickling his belly, making Chris laugh out loud as he asked to his Buck to stop.

Eddie smiled like a fool while watching his two favorite people having fun together like two children. He loved these two so much that it sometimes made him dizzy. It was a good thing and it did him good. With each passing day, he was more convinced that he wanted Buck forever in his life and he knew that his boyfriend felt the same way.

“So, Chris. What did you ask Santa for?” Buck asked after a while, while they were starting to setting up the tree.

“I can't tell, Buck. You know that." Chris responded by winking at his father.

"Hey! I saw that" Buck pretended to be hurt by the situation. "I don't believe you two Diaz are plotting against me."

Eddie couldn't help laughing at his boyfriend's poor performance and then stepped forward to kiss him. “Perhaps we are preparing a surprise. Who knows."

“You will have to wait a while, Buck. Christmas is here in a few days and until then Santa Claus will be waiting to be able to deliver the gifts" Chris said naturally as he fitted some reindeer to the tree.

Buck narrowed his eyes at Eddie in the hope of receiving an answer, but he shrugged "OK. You won, I will wait to know what you both are planning"

It took them almost half an hour to finish setting up the tree completely since Chris and Buck had bought many ornaments. Chris made a point of placing the gold star on the top of the tree, so Eddie and Buck each lifted him while the kid fitted the star. "Yay!" Chris clapped and smiled in excitement to see the tree fully assembled. "Now let's turn on the fairy lights".

Eddie wasted no time in going to the outlet and turning on the fairy lights. The tree was beautiful with the vibrant colors of the fairy lights highlighting the ornaments that were around it. Chris was fascinated, as was Buck. They smiled and jumped in amusement and Eddie was always more than passionate to see these two together.

*******

Buck and Eddie were on duty on Christmas Eve, so when they returned from a call, they joined the rest of the team and their families. Everyone was already there waiting for the 118 team to start supper. Since the past year when Buck had seen how heartbroken Chris had been at the thought of spending Christmas away from his father and his Buck, he had sworn to himself that it would never happen. And it was then that Buck talked to Bobby so that every year they would organize Christmas at the station, even if everyone on the team was not on duty, after all this is their second home.

The table was fed up. All types of food possible. Each one taking a dish of their own or, in Abuela's case, everyone's favorite. Her recipes were famous at 118 as Buck made sure to share her delicious recipes with the rest of the team as a proud _nieto_ he was.

As usual, as soon as Eddie caught sight of his son he ran into a very tight hug. Buck loved to watch it happen, he could have been standing there smiling like a fool for hours and he wouldn't get tired at all. His heart ached with love for these two and he was so happy to have them in his life. And as much as Eddie and he were boyfriends for now, he wanted to have them in his life forever. There was nothing and no one he wanted, just the Diaz boys.

Maddie appeared like magic at his side, waking him from his waking dream while admiring his boyfriend with his son. "They are very cute together, huh?" She also watches them while talking to her brother.

"Yes, I love these two." Buck let out an emotional sigh.

Maddie then put her arm around him and turned her attention to him. "I can see. Your eyes shine when you look at them. And I can see the same spark in Eddie's eyes”

Buck smiled from ear to ear as his sister pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek.

“I'm happy for you, Evan. We both had a rough life, you know that. And to see how much we managed to overcome everything and build what we have today is gratifying” Maddie smiled at her brother so her tears fell.

Buck loved her too much. Even after everything that happened in the past, after she left him with his parents and went to live with Doug, he couldn't help but love her. Cuz after all, she was his little sister and in the end she would be there to protect him when he needed it. Just like she did when they were young.

"I love you, Maddie", he said, wiping his sister's tears and pulling her into another hug.

"I love you, little brother".

"Hey, what about this young lady here", Buck knelt and stroked his sister's belly and kissed her. "Have you chosen a name for her yet?"

Maddie was already about to give birth at any moment. Her belly was very large and she was already exhausted, Buck could see it from her expression. He was very much looking forward to the birth of his niece. He would be the most drooling uncle ever.

"Actually, yes, but I won't tell anyone yet", she shrugged.

“Hey, I'm the uncle. I have a right to know my niece's name", Buck protested as Maddie showed him the tongue.

"You gonna have to wait, little brother".

After a while, Maddie went to join Chim and Buck picked up a mistletoe that was hanging from the ceiling and went over to Eddie who was with Chris on his lap. The two laughed at the scene of Buck with the mistletoe in his hand coming towards them and then Buck placed the mistletoe over Chris's head and Eddie and he kissed each side of the cheek of the kid who smiled animatedly.

"I love you both, you know", he stroked Chris and Eddie's cheek.

Chris did the same with his and replied: "We love you too, kid".

Buck snorted in amusement and ruffled his hair. "What he said", Eddie replied right behind.

When Bobby announced for everyone to sit down at the table to start supper, no one wasted time settling into their respective seats with Eddie, Chris and Buck next to each other as usual. 

“Before we all start eating, I would like to propose a toast. A toast to 118 and all our family members. May we have more moments like this, of celebration and joy". Everyone lifted their glasses and toasted a happy smile on their faces.

Later, while Buck chatted absently with Hen and Karen, the siren sounded loudly and Buck was already quick to get up and run to the captain. He looked around, but saw that no one struggled to prepare for an emergency. "Hey, where's Eddie and Chris?", The worry was already building inside him.

"See for yourself", Bobby pointed downstairs and when Buck ran over and looked down, he saw Eddie looking at him with a wide smile on his face and Chris coming out from behind one of the trucks with his helmet on and a rectangular box with a golden bow in hand. He was having a little trouble walking without his crutches, but that didn't stop him from walking to his father while Buck came down the stairs with his heart racing.

"Hey, superman", Buck knelt down to get closer to Chris when the kid reached him. Buck was already crying before he even knew what was going on. He held the kid to help him balance. He smiled watching his huge helmet on the kid's head. It was too much for him to take and if it was a dream he would never want to wake up.

Chris reached out and offered the box to him. Buck then sat down and put the kid on his lap to get the box open. He undid the golden ribbon with all the care in the world as if what it had inside was a precious treasure.

"Merry Christmas, Buck", Chris said, putting an arm around his shoulder.

When Buck opened the box there was only a paper with a drawing made of chalk by Chris. There were three of them holding hands and right below was something written. Buck wiped some tears from his face so he could read better and saw that it said: **_Buck, be my co-dad._**

Buck held on as long as he could to stop himself from crying and sobbing. He then took the paper out of the box and saw that just behind that paper was another one and this was an adoption form. And that was when everything went downhill. Buck pulled Chris into a hug and started to cry from sobbing. It took him a few minutes to be able to speak, as he was not succeeding with so much emotion. “Yes, Chris. I absolutely want to be your daddy”, his voice almost breaking in the end.

Chris gave a happy little cry and then made Buck stand up. The kid held his hand when Buck got up confused and saw his boyfriend coming towards him with tears in his eyes. "What's going on, Eds?" He smiled nervously looking around and seeing that everyone was watching them from the second floor with a huge smile on their face.

When Buck turned his attention to Eddie, he was kneeling in front of him and pulling a velvet box from his back pocket. Buck's heart missed a few beats as he put his free hand in his mouth to suppress a scream.

"Evan Buckley", Eddie opened the box and it had a silver ring with a gold band in the middle. "Marry me?"

Buck didn't think twice as he shook his head and pulled on his boyfriend. "Yes Yes Yes! I want to marry you, Eddie Diaz”, he kissed Eddie as if he depended on it for a living and he did.

Everyone in attendance began to applaud and shout happily for both of them as Eddie put the ring on Buck's finger. It felt wonderful and made Buck's chest swell with joy. He was going to marry Eddie and be Chris's father. That was all he ever wanted.

"You two have been planning this since when?" Buck asked after a while as they went upstairs to join the others.

"Well, since we started dating", Eddie admitted.

Chris nodded and winked at his father. "And I told Dad that I had asked Santa Claus for you to be my father."

Buck loved this child so much that he sometimes thinked it impossible to love more, but he always loved even more.

Everyone congratulated them when they got on the second floor. Bobby giving a very strong hug to both saying that he was very happy and proud for his two boys. Chim jokingly and saying that he had imagined that day for a long time and Hen saying that if she wasn't invited to be the maid of honor, she would cut ties with them.

It seemed like a miracle, as no other calls came while they were there enjoying each other's company. And it was only a few hours after the marriage proposal that Maddie started to squirm in her chair and Chim announced that she was about to give birth.

Hen and Chim were there next to her measuring the pressure and checking their condition. “Her purse has burst. We need to run to the hospital or she will give birth right here".

Buck ran to stand next to his sister trying to reassure her that everything would be okay.

"Take the ambulance so you can get to the hospital faster", Bobby offered.

Buck and Eddie helped get Maddie into the ambulance while Chim prepared to put her on the stretcher. Hen was going to drive and was already inside waiting to leave.

When Maddie was already properly positioned on the stretcher, Chim signaled for Hen to start and they were to leave as soon as possible towards the hospital.

Buck had warned that he would meet them there. He was nervous and anxious about the situation. There was a lot going on at the same time and he was having a hard time processing. His emotions were out of control as he wiped some tears from his face as the ambulance left.

"Come on, baby. Don't worry, she'll be fine", Eddie comforted him as he drove him to his truck.

Buck was taking a deep breath in the car while Eddie settled in the driver's seat and checked that Chris was comfortable in the back. They were already on the road when Eddie put his hand on Buck's thigh in an attempt to ease his anxiety. In a magical way it helped, because Buck managed to relax a little and look at him with a relieved look. "Thank you," he said at last as he put his hand over his boyfriend's and intertwined their fingers.

He stared at the ring on his finger and couldn't help but smile. Proof that it hadn't been a dream and that he was now about to become part of the Diaz family. Not that it hadn't happened a long time ago, but now it would be official and Buck was more than ready for it.

"We're getting married, huh", he joked as he nudged Eddie's hand.

Eddie, in turn, smiled happily giving Buck a quick look and his eyes sparkled. “For sure. I couldn't ask for more", he took Buck's hand, which was still linked with his, and kissed it. "We are making our family official".

"And now Buck will be my daddy too", Chris exclaimed from the backseat.

"My superman", Buck smiled at the kid and winked.

When they arrived at the hospital, Bobby was already there with Athena and the others. Hen was sitting next to Karen with Nia on her lap.

"How's she doing?" Buck rushed to Bobby as soon as he approached.

“Relax, Buck. Chim is in there with her and she is already in labor. Now we can only wait", Bobby said trying to calm him down, since the boy was on edge.

Three agonizing hours passed before Chim appeared still wearing hospital clothes, a huge smile on his face and eyes full of water. "She was born, guys!", he announced with enthusiasm. Everyone got up from where they were sitting and went to congratulate him and hug him.

Buck was very excited. He was dying to meet his niece. Chim seemed to read his mind as he went over to him with enthusiasm. "Come on, Maddie is calling you and Eddie to meet the newest member of the family."

Eddie left Chris with Abuela, promising him that he would meet his cousin soon and went to join Buck towards the room when Maddie was accommodated.

When they come at the room, Chim led them through the door and led them to Maddie's bed, who was lying with her little baby wrapped in her arms. When she saw them, she broke into a huge smile. “Look, Claire. Your uncles came to meet you".

Buck approached his sister and kissed her forehead. Soon after, Maddie handed little Claire into her brother's arms and Buck was unable to contain his tears again. He was so happy with everything that was going on and the day couldn't end any better. 

It looked like everything was a Christmas miracle. He had received the documents for adoption from Chris, Eddie's marriage proposal, the person he was more than in love with and now he was holding his niece in his arms. Buck couldn't ask for more, as he was already having everything he could possibly want in life.

Eddie joined him and kissed him on the cheek. "Our niece is beautiful, baby".

"She looks like her father", Chim joked as he joined Maddie by his bed.

"Absolutely not. She looks like her mother",Buck replied, staring at Claire in his arms and with Eddie resting his head on his shoulder.

Later, when they were coming home, Buck stared at Eddie for a few minutes and he was smiling like a fool for his future husband. He was so in love with this man, he would move heaven and hell for him.

"I love you so much, Eds."

"I love you, too, Evan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They will live happily forever, but until then many things will still happen...

**Author's Note:**

> please forgive me if it misspells, but I did it with all my love <3


End file.
